Random thoughts, and just...Us

"You don't know what it's like..."

2012-01-12T05:29:00.000-05:00

"To be poor."

Someone said this to me once. And you know what, they're absolutely, positively, 100% correct. I do not know what it is like to be poor. I thank The God above every night that I don't. But, I do know the value of solid day's work is and I do know how to go at it HARD and not to stop until it's done. If that meant I had to work 10 jobs to do it and never sleep a wink, I'm stubborn enough to do just that! Especially for Jacob. So I promise you this - if I were poor you'd never know it!

I don't think we were a rich household growing up on Maple Street. We had food (though I still to this day won't touch cooked canned tuna fish to save my soul). We had clothing (Edna always had more!). We had extras. My parents both worked - in my time anyway. My dad as an Electrical Engineer for Consumer's Energy (as it is now) and my mom as a nurse in a doctor's office (later as a sew-er in a factory). When I was very young and the older kids were home, I'm sure money was tighter but, the burden eased a little more as each one moved out on their own. And you know what - not one of us EVER moved back.

I guess, in some ways I was spoiled. Sure, I had expensive shoes and jeans (only 2 pair that I washed every other night) because my mom gave me $100 for school clothes and I bought 2 prs of jeans and $100 shoes that I worked after school and babysat to pay for. Sure, I got a car before I graduated high school - with money that was saved FOR me -with the stipulation that I had to be able to pay insurance and upkeep all by myself! Maybe at that time I was VERY into material things and I wasn't as educated in the value of a dollar but, at 15/16/17 years old, I don't know anyone who wasn't, do you? Besides, most of us grew out of it - most.

Growing up, my mom was pretty particular. Our beds had mattress pads, and sheets with pillowcases that matched (usually she ironed the cases which I NEVER understood!). And we even had covers over the pillows! We had blankets for our beds and spares or extras if we needed them. We had towels and washcloths and we NEVER, NEVER, NEVER had to go to the dryer looking for something! You know - now I find a bed without a mattress pad EXTREMELY uncomfortable!?! We were NEVER allowed to sleep without a pad AND a fitted sheet. NEVER on a bare mattress! And we HAD to have a top sheet! Poll: Do you know how to fold a fitted sheet? Yes, yes I do. And king sized ones at that!

As kids in my parents house, we were responsible for getting our laundry to/from the basement for washing and sometimes it would be stacked on the stairs for us to put away when clean. My mother NEVER-EVER put our laundry away. We scrubbed stains on a washboard with Felsnaptha soap. The bar was stuck on the top of the washboard. We sorted by color with piles all over the basement. My long blond hair always got caught in the cuff buttons on my daddy's work shirts and my sister Valerie would have to free me! Laundry was done on Saturday. If your laundry wasn't down. Your laundry wasn't done. My brother would pay me to get his laundry down (and to clean his room).

We were responsible for raking the yard, mowing the lawn, taking out the trash and shoveling the snow. We set the table. We cooked. We baked. We did dishes.  We did laundry. We ironed. We cleaned house - dusting, vacuuming. There were 6 of us to make light of those tasks. And we did. Every Saturday!

We actually cooked for the whole family. We never had pre-made, pre-baked, prepacked, prepared foods. If we had Salisbury Steak - the sisters made it. If we had lasagna the sisters were boiling noodles. Rolling out cookies, cakes were from scratch and bread raising on the heat registers in the winter. We ate a lot of fish, venison, rabbit, squirrel, pheasant, etc. until my dad was too sick to hunt. We popped popcorn and had sandwich nights but, Shit-On-A-Shingle was never allowed. Dad ate enough of it in the Army and said he wouldn't touch that Shit again! Oddly, my mother never made us birthday cakes! Thankfully, I always had Karen to do those for me.

Dinner was at 6. The table was set. The lefties - one on mom's end and one on dad's so they didn't bump elbows with the righties. Fork on the left, spoon on the right if you were a lefty you switched your own. My dad sat by the TV to listen to the news and my mom by the kitchen. We had to hold our tools properly and mind our manners. No slurping soup. No noise with straws, mind your please and thank-yous, please pass me this or that and we said our prayers before we dared to touch a fork!

There were 6 of us. We've had the same house for 43 years. My mother still has the same carpet in her house she has had for all of my life and shockingly there are no visible stains. There are no crayon or marker marks on my mothers walls - there is a spray mark of undercoating from my brother's car that he sprayed at one of us (prolly Val) and a grease spot where my mom threw a boat of gravy at my dad's head in the dining room though. Oh, and a mustard stain on the ceiling too.  And we won't talk about "The ketchup packet incident". And my sister, Karen drove a brand new Pontiac with my name scratched in the back window for a time (oooh! That was such a pretty green rock I used when I did that!). Our clothes and shoes always fit and they were always clean. My mom would hem them up and let them out. She patched knees and sewed buttons. We kids joke about the amount of bleach my mom used on our whites - it was common while pulling your socks or underwears on in the morning to pull the band right off or to poke your thumb or finger through them. We weren't allowed colored underwears because she couldn't bleach them - and if a colored pair snuck through, well they were white when you got them back!

My dad didn't get into women's work (as I call it). He tried to bake a mayonnaise cake once and it tasted like white glue. He liked those spice cakes! He shrunk some of the sisters clothes and got himself banished from the laundry. He worked and fished, and hunted - maybe not in that order! The inner runnings of the house was my mom's responsibility.

To this day, I don't buy white canvas sneakers because if I get one scuff, I can't stand it and I have to wash them. I do bleach our whites but, haven't lost a band yet. I wash coats, hats, bedding, frequently and I have PLENTY of spares! I can't wear shoes without socks, a belt without a shirt tucked in, and I send my dishcloth to the laundry after each use. I will not wear white after Labor day and yes, my shoes do match my purse (it's real easy when you only wear brown shoes!).

You know - we were up visiting a friend a while back and Jacob stepped in doggie dookey - I didn't know how to get the poop off of his shoe. Do you believe that!?!  My friend had to help me out. Since Kelsey arrived, I've become an old pro at the dookey scrape but, we never had pets like that when I was a kid. My mom always made them disappear...somehow. But, even with Kelsey, I have to have the hair vacuumed almost daily - especially by her crate/bed. I would like dookies to be picked up daily though my husband thinks I'm nuts. I clean under and her bowls as often as I can. And I just bought a carpet steamer!

I think of these things now as an adult and I'm kind of glad to have been raised with so many standards. We were taught to take care of our things, to put them away, to keep them clean. If you do these things, your stuff WILL last longer. I think of the standards that were set so long ago maybe make us appear to be rich or maybe if some followed those standards they wouldn't seem so poor..?   Ya think?

“What you see with your eyes shut is what counts.”

2012-01-11T10:21:00.002-05:00

I was catching up on some blog reading from my friend Echo Bodine this morning and I had to share this post from her site:

"Another whole world opens up when we close our eyes and calm our mind. Be still and know; be still and hear; be still and see; be still and feel. Inside every person is a still, small voice. Sometimes it is necessary to close our eyes to shut down our perception in order to see. Try this occasionally when you are talking to your child or spouse, close your eyes and listen to them. Listen to the tone of their voice; listen to their excitement; listen to their pain-listen.

Great Spirit, today, let me hear only what really counts."

I know I am struggling these days with patience and calm. Jeremy and I are working through some stressfull family stuff, work is crazy, Jeremy's job is under constant change and of course, I find myself hollering at Jacob for such little things and I feel soooo bad after the fact that I just hug him and I cry.

Like this morning - 2AM and he comes to sleep in my bed. I love my son but, I HATE sharing a bed - even a king size bed - with him. He twists and turns all over the bed. And THE worst = he likes to burrow! He likes to scoot all the way down to the foot of the bed but, he doesn't like his head covered which means as he's burrowing down, he's taking all of the blankets down with him and uncovering me! Now most nights my bedroom is a solid 58 degrees because we don't have heat in our bedroom (we have a space heater but, I don't sleep with it on) and I like my covers pulled up to my chin! So...well...if he's in my bed, I get damn cold! Plus I already have a 60lb. dog in there. Anyway it's 2AM and I'm just a screaming, raging bitch over this kid who only wants to sleep with his mom.

I know now, I need to slow down and take this time with him. He won't be this age forever. He won't need or want me later like he does now. I do need to close my eyes and just listen to him. But, he also really needs to sleep in his own bed, while I need to not be so bitchy at 2AM to work us through that.

*I did get up and talk to him while getting him back in his own bed. I promised that the next weekend night when his daddy works, we'll have a snack and watch TV or a movie in my bed. Just the 2 of us. He LOVES to do that. It was his sweet sleepy face that just melted my heart! I don't want to be that 'mean' mom again!

I know now that I need to change some other things too - like although I like a home in perfect order - I need to realize that the dishes can wait. This TV program isn't important. But, this kid. This kid is important and he wants me. I'm going to work very hard to make that better!

Thanks Echo! Thanks for reminding me to close my eyes and listen to my son's "Still, small voice" too!

Cutting the Stuff

2012-01-09T09:47:00.001-05:00

I believe, this among other things that we are put on Earth for 2 purposes - to learn or to teach. God sent some of us here to Earth with specific lessons in mind and some he sent as the teachers. You know maybe we're even both! I believe we all have a path cut out for us by God before we are born and every experience we have on this Earth - good or bad - is a part of that lesson. The people we meet in our lives cross our paths to either learn from us or for us to learn from them.

I've been observing and reflecting for quite some time now - since before my friend Kate and "The Fire" but more so since about stuff. Stuff we have. Stuff we want. Stuff we need. Stuff we think we need. Too much stuff! Kate had mentioned about getting caught up in the stuff and feeling so weighted down by stuff. I've been feeling that way for sometime myself. Surrounded by so much stuff, I wonder what of this stuff is really the stuff I love and stuff that I need. The answer is always - not so much.

We have lived in our house for 11 years now. When we first moved in, we weren't married yet and so many people gave us their stuff and we had stuff and we bought stuff. We cleaned and we painted and made our house into our home. I love my home and I love the things in it but...

Do I really need to continue to save all of the cards from my wedding shower and our wedding? I have it all written down in the book who gave us what. Nope - don't need those.

My wedding cake topper that is broken and the tarnished silver-plated toasting glasses that no matter what I use or how much I polish I can't remove the tarnish? Nope - don't need those. (BTW yes, Jeremy and I discussed this before they were purged)

The pen used at our wedding reception to sign the guest book? Really, I did keep it and what's even better? It doesn't write! The ink dried up. Nope - don't need that.

Must I keep every book I've ever read? I have more than I'll likely read in my lifetime plus a few and to go back and read one I've already read? Nope - don't need those.

That box of clothes that doesn't quite fit but might if I just got a little bit of exercise? I'm not saying anymore. Nope - don't need those.

My old cell phone and all of its accessories + Jeremy's old phone + my old, old phone + Jeremy's old, old phone and all of their accessories that I was saving on the off chance that we might need a backup phone or someone I know might need one? Nope - don't need those.

Christmas decorations that totally don't work with my home decor and are so cheesy they're almost scary? (I don't like to revamp my whole house for Christmas. I like to put up the tree, add a few little touches so it looks like it all belongs there all the time.) Nope - don't need those.

Fake floral arrangements that have been on display for over 11 years complete with 11 years worth of dust? Nope - don't need those.

Picture frames in every size, color, or shape? Metal? Wood? Resin? All stuffed in a drawer? Nope - OBVIOUSLY don't need those!

Soap supplies for my soap making business where I was going to make enough money to quit my job and work for myself now living in the basement untouched for oh, about 3 months now. Nope - don't need all that. (I will continue to make soap for our own use but, no more craft shows, etc.)

Pictures that were to go on the walls but, I don't know where I had intended to put them bought simply because I like them? Nope - don't need those.

See what I mean? It's just so, so much stuff. Why am I hanging on to all of it? I don't need it. It's just stuff.

2012

2012-01-02T13:53:00.003-05:00

Of course with a new year, we all spend our time thinking of the past year and what we want to improve to go forward - about ourselves or our relationships, what we would like to continue as is, or the things we'd like to quit.

I worked hard on myself if 2011 and I plan to continue that in 2012. I'm working to go easier on people, easier on myself, and let my expectations in others slide a little bit. I have a few relationships that need some work. I have one that I will continue to be on hold and who knows what or who this year will throw at me. I know I want to be open to it.

My biggest struggle is this blog. It's taken a few turns over the years and honestly, I'm just quite bored with it. The people I used to keep in touch with by blogging - rarely blog anymore. I'm moving in a personal direction that I'm not comfortable with sharing so publicly anymore but, it's such a BIG part of my life that I can't ignore it. Yet, I feel a little guilty to quit writing here and simply said, I guess, it really isn't a priority for me anymore.

So much has changed and I don't...I just don't know where I want to go.

My worst fear...

2011-12-12T14:24:00.002-05:00

is fire. You might think that a little odd as my son is obsessed with firefighters, fire trucks, and most anything related to the two. But, yes.

Fire. Fire is my worst fear.

Our house is old and the wood is dry. We have smoke detectors in each bedroom, 2 in the hall, the basement, and anywhere in between. Yet, I fear that if our house were to catch fire, we wouldn't know in time. I fear we won't be able to get all of us out. As important as it would be for all of us to get out safely, I can't help but think of the memories lost, the treasures I have saved for Jacob, family photos, heirlooms and all of the things your home holds.

I know they're just things. Sure, most things can be replaced. It's those special things that I would hate to lose. I know those aren't truly what is important but, they are important. They are big. They aren't replaceable. Your bridal shower gifts. Your wedding photos. Your baby shower gifts. The outfit your babies wore home from the hospital. Your child's first Christmas ornament, your wedding dress, the only photo of your favorite Aunt Harriet. It breaks my heart to think of this, of losing these things. Where do you begin to replace what you've lost? How do you rebuild what was home?

I said, it breaks my heart to think of this and sadly my friend Kate over at My Merlot, she's living it today...for the past couple of days. She's living my worst nightmare. They lost their home, everything in it and their cat to a fire on Saturday night. I thank God above that they are all safe and made it out of their home. I thank God they have family close by to put a roof over their heads and give them love and support. I thank God they have friends who are doing everything they can to help and ease their burdens in any way they possibly can. Imagine what you would do to wake up in the night and know your house is on fire and you have to save your family while you are 3 months pregnant with a 3YO, a 1YO, a dog, and all you're wearing is tank top and yoga pants. You didn't even have time to get your shoes on! Then you sit on the street and watch as 7 (yes, seven) fire departments respond and they can't save any one thing that you own, and you watch as your house, your home, your memories, your heirlooms, your Christmas, and all of your firsts disappear with the night.

It sickens me to think about this young family up against this devastation, this loss. I struggle to accept it. Yet, I know there is a reason, there is a plan. There is a God. Right now, this God is showing them how strong the bond of family and friends can be. There are so many people trying to help. This God is taking care of this family and they'll figure that out as they grieve.

I ask you to please, please pray for this family. Pray for them to have the strength. Pray for their little boy to have sweet dreams at night, like every little boy should. Pray for this mom who is terrified of losing her unborn child due to all of the stress. Pray for this dad who wants to provide for his family and keep them safe. Pray for this marriage to strengthen during this time of extreme challenge. Pray for God to provide this family with what they need and his guiding hand to show them the way through their worst fears.

I am.

Numerology

2011-11-22T09:30:00.000-05:00

I suppose after what I said yesterday you won't be surprised to know that I'm also into Numerology - Numerology is any study of the purported mystical relationship between a count or measurement and life.

I am a Master Life Path 11 which is also explained as a heightened 2. You can figure out your life path here.

Individuals with the Life Path number 11 are very intuitive, in fact it is the most intuitive of all numbers. They are sensitive and have a great understanding of others, and can sense a great deal about what is going on behind the scenes. For example, they will pick up on people's relationships and health without being told anything. They are here to use their gifts of intuition, and sensitivity to help others.

Life path of 11 has the qualities of the number two magnified. If you have this number you are spiritually aware, a visionary, inspiring, charismatic, inventive, a dreamer, idealistic, and a deep thinker, and you rely on faith rather than logic to deal with the life and all it has to offer.

The challenge for Elevens is to not be overwhelmed by their gifts. Fears and phobias would be the downside of this number. They may also seem at times indecisive, impractical, nervous, and moody.

The number 11 life path is concerned with spiritual illumination. Often a number 11 will have an instinctive understanding of metaphysical matters. Because Elevens are also twos, , they have the strength to finish what they start. 11 is also a good number for forming partnerships … you work and play well with others. You are likely to marry young and be committed and faithful for your entire life.

Below are some key points you might want to take into consideration to help you on your path …

An 11 may appear to lead a life of extremes. It is really a search for balance in all areas of life. 11s are avant-garde and visionary individuals who make great students, psychics, mystics, healers, teachers, writers, musicians and artists.

You probably like habit and routine, it gives you a foundation from which you can explore. You might not be a leader, but you are a visionary and a very talented idea person. Your ability to quickly and accurately analyze a situation is a real strength in the business world. You are a perfectionist, but you usually measure up.

An unhappy 11 will find themselves always dreaming of big schemes, but never taking practical action to pursue those goals. This means the 11 is stuck in the "visionary" stage of enlightenment, and probably needs to address fear issues.

An 11/2 can be your own worst enemy. You're driven to perfection, but sometimes that just means you're on a carousel that won't stop. Learn to call it a day and don't get caught in self-blame.

Coming Clean

2011-11-21T11:29:00.001-05:00

I believe in God,

the Father almighty,

Creator of heaven and earth,

and in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord,

who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,

born of the Virgin Mary,

suffered under Pontius Pilate,

was crucified, died and was buried;

he descended into hell;

on the third day he rose again from the dead;

he ascended into heaven,

and is seated at the right hand of God the Father almighty;

from there he will come to judge the living and the dead.

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy catholic Church,

the communion of saints,

the forgiveness of sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and life everlasting.

I was taught that. I can recite that. It brings me comfort and warmth. I believe it in my heart of hearts. I can give you the Lord's Prayer too, if you'd like but, you'll think what you want and I'll know what I know. I need to discuss something...I'm really tired of being afraid. I'm really tired of judgement and perception, opinion and holding back so, at the risk of losing everything, I'm coming clean.

I believe in God. I believe in miracles. I believe that God puts people here on Earth to do his work. I believe in Angels. I believe in God's Kingdom. And I believe that God speaks to me in a voice I can hear. I also believe he speaks to you. I believe you can hear him just like I do, if you want to listen.

I've been working a lot these last few years on listening. You know that little voice that says, "Go back for your cup of coffee." and you ignore it, thinking it's just coffee so you don't go back. Then a few miles down the road and the guy driving behind you is talking on his phone, doesn't see you slowing to turn left and he hits you from behind. If you would have went back for coffee...you would't have been there for him to hit. It's those type things I'm learning to listen to.

I hear voices. I have for a long time. Sometimes with those voices, I'd smell something - like cologne or one super special visitor I have - he smells like gun oil and he's my favorite. But these voices, they tell me things when I'm with people or they explain things to me. Sometimes they bring me a deep understanding or a knowing. Say we're together and we're talking about your daughter who is getting married and you're very nervous/anxious about this guy she's chosen, well the more we're talking and I'm listening to you but, this voice says to me "He loves her! He loves her with all of his heart and his soul. He would never hurt her. He will cherish her all of his days!" Not only do you hear that but, you can feel this all encompassing warmth surround you like a hug from your loving father and you almost start to cry. How do you know this? You've never met them. Those things happen to me all the time. Sometimes these voices speak out loud to me. You may not hear them but, they still make me turn and look to find no one there. They're that real.

I asked this voice one time, "How much time do I have with my mom?"
The voice responded, "83".
I asked the voice, "83? 83 what? 83 days? 83 months? August 3rd? 83 what?".
Again the voice responded "83".
I knew not to ask the voice again for it had changed tone and like a child with their father, I knew my line of questioning was not going to be tolerated any longer. I'm waiting to see what he meant by "83"

I have a hard time in large groups of people - like concerts, crowded restaurants, oddly - church. I have a hard time with all of the noise. For me, it's 200 people trying to talk to me all at once and I can't sort out all of the voices. I don't know who's trying to talk to whom. The only thing I leave with is a splitting headache!I'm what is called a sensitive. I absorb the mood. If you're sad, I'll be sad. If you're elated, I'll be elated. If you're bitter and crabby, I will be too. I have to be very careful not to absorb and it's very hard. So I choose to keep my circle a little small. I've had a very tough time finding a church that is lifting for me. We have been with our church for some time and I recently realized that when leaving church on Sunday morning, I'd feel totally drained. It's because I was taking in all of everyone else's burdens. I need to find a new church family. I need to start experimenting with that very soon.

I hear voices. I talk to spirits but, right now I'm more at peace than I've ever been in my entire life. Call it conscience. Call me crazy. Call me a fruitcake. Call me a nutjob. Chances are - if you feel I have secluded myself from you, it's because I already knew you couldn't accept this from me and you'd rather call me names than to understand me. I'm sorry you feel that way. I came clean and how you deal with the rest, is up to you.

Quotes

2011-11-18T13:30:00.000-05:00

I love quotes.

I don't normally use them in conversation (do I?) but, I like to share them, I find inspiration in them, they help to explain how I feel or sometimes they have the words I need when I need them. I wanted to share some of my favorites.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." — Oscar Wilde

“You get a little moody sometimes but I think that's because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.” ― Pat Conroy, The Prince of Tides

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." — Mark Twain

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." — Abraham Lincoln

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." — C.S. Lewis

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." — Marilyn Monroe

“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears." — John Lennon

"There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." ~C.S. Lewis,

"The things that make me different are the things that make me." — A.A. Milne

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." — Benjamin Franklin

"Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them." — John Wooden

"The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other person finds an excuse. " ~Author Unknown

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins." ~Bob Moawad

"God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me." ~Author unknown

"The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra." ~Jimmy Johnson

"Promise only what you can deliver. Then deliver more than you promise." ~Author Unknown

"The best angle from which to approach any problem is the try-angle." ~Author Unknown

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.” Oscar Wilde

"When you hold a grudge, you want someone else’s sorrow to reflect your level of hurt but the two rarely meet.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.” ― Dr. Seuss

“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” ― Dr. Seuss

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.” ― Marcus Tullius Cicero

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ― Mark Twain

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt,

Time

2011-11-17T12:48:00.001-05:00

Time is such a strange concept. I was just thinking about today for example. Today is my 15 year anniversary of employment. I was thinking 'Wow! 15 years' --> 'I was completely vested in my company's pension plan when I was only 33' --> '33 that was 5 years ago so much has happened here as a company in 5 years' --> 'all of the issues that have cropped up and resolved in that spans of time.' --> 'Time. Wow. It's quite a concept. I should blog about time.'

I think back to the times in life where I had the opportunity to grow or to change and at that time this 'thing' was so major, such a large part of my life but, now to look back on that time or that growth and in this light, it really wasn't much of a big of a deal...if I remember it at all!

I look at my Jacob, about to turn 6. The time before his birthday is always a giant reflection for me. I remember like it was yesterday, the excitement of getting our child, all of the preparations we were absorbed in, and our close relationship with our lawyer (that doesn't quite fit into a birthplan, does it?). Trying to have everything finished in time. We spent part of Thanksgiving with his biological family that year...and I think of what time has done to that relationship. I think about Jaocb as a little tiny baby and how much he's grown and changed since then. I remember reading book after book after book to him, and now he's reading to me.

I think about my parents. My dad, 12 years gone now and my mom stuck in a time long since gone. My sisters, my brother - I won't share their ages with you but, I do think ahead to the time when I'll be an orphan and/or an only child. I want to enjoy the time I have with my family (I'm not saying that I don't now). I'm saying, no matter the family, isn't there always room for improvement?

We've celebrated quite a few 'years', this year. 40, 38, 15, 10, 9, 6, 5, and only one (Jeremy, Me, a work milestone, years together, years married, Jacob's birthday, Gotcha Day, having Kelsey, and Kelsey's first birthday). The time between our years seems to get shorter and shorter with more, and less 'firsts'. It's hard to keep track of the things that are most important when there are so many things that I don't want to lose.

This is the beginning of a new day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or use it for good.
What I do today is important, because
I am exchanging a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
this day will be gone forever,
leaving in its place something
that I have traded for it.
I want it to be gain, not loss;
good not evil; success not failure;
in order that I shall not regret
the price I paid for it. ~Author Unknown

$36.82

2011-11-16T09:10:00.000-05:00

I've raved about the prices at Aldi I don't know how many times and I'm sorry but, I can't help it. I have to rave again.

I ran in tonight only to pick up my Thanksgiving turkey but, it's never that simple. I always need more.

I picked up:

a little over 19 lb Butterball brand turkey
1 gallon of milk
4 boxes of turkey stuffing (because I haven't found a recipe for stuffing yet that I like)
2 bags of frozen green beans
1 large bag of round tortilla chips
1 loaf of whole grain white bread
1 large can of French fried onions
1 jar of peanut butter (16 oz)
1- 12 oz block of Colby cheese

All or the amazing price of $36.82!

Perfect...?

2011-11-15T15:40:00.001-05:00

My sister sent this to me today. It rings true for me...most days... and it is certainly something that I need to remember everyday. I thought I'd share it here because as hectic and crazy as life does get we all can use a reminder now and then to appreciate what we do have rather than looking at what everyone else has and thinking we need that too.

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and

the two of you will never be perfect.

But if he can make you laugh at least

once, causes you to think twice, and if

he admits to being human and making

mistakes, hold onto him and give him

the most you can. He isn’t going to

quote poetry, he’s not thinking about

you every moment, but he will give you

a part of him that he knows you

could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t

change him, and don’t expect for more than

he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when

he makes you happy, yell when he

makes you mad, and miss him when

he’s not there. Love hard when there is

love to be had. Because perfect guys

don’t exist, but there’s always one guy

that is perfect for you.” ― Bob Marley

Parent/Teacher Conferences

2011-11-14T21:28:00.001-05:00

We had conferences last week. I brought home Jacob's very first report card!

Jacob got an excellent report. He's doing VERY well in school. He knows all of his letters uppercase and lowercase. He gets a little stuck on the sounders - those vowels are tricky! He's counting to 100. And his coloring is within the lines. All the things a mom could ask for!

Jacob gets along very well with all of his classmates. He's a very good helper. He listens and follows directions but, sometimes has a tough time coming in from recess.

Tonight, after supper, he read a book to me. My little kindergartener can read! I was such a proud mom.

Sometimes, I think all of the trials he puts me through are simply the result of 7 hours in school where he has to be so good for so long. I guess, if he's going to be bullheaded and belligerant, I'd rather he be that way at home!

Especially when he can read to me! :)

Take 5

2011-11-12T11:25:00.000-05:00

Let me first say that I do realize that I missed 2 days here and well, I have 3 posts in my head and if I'm willing to sit down here and post 3 in a row then well...I believe I should be forgiven for not sitting down to write over the weekend.

Back to my story.

Saturday, Jacob and I had a date with his biological grandparents for lunch. As we were getting ready to go, I got into a texting conversation with Jeremy's sister and before we left, we had a birthday party to attend that afternoon. I shuffled my schedule a bit - no big deal.

On the way to lunch, I decided that I needed coffee! I mean NEEDED (you'll understand come the next post). I know there is a Biggby Coffee on the way and I planned to stop there but, I was so lost in my thoughts that I had forgotten coffee until Jacob says "Mom? You missed the coffee." and I said "Shit!". I tried to take the next left and go in the back but, traffic wouldn't allow it - why the hell was there so much traffic? I couldn't make the turn so, McDonald's it is!

If you haven't tried it, McDonald's has a WONDERFUL version of Peppermint Mocha!

We go down the road a little further and I turn into McDonald's...and the line for the drive-thru is wrapped around the whole building. And that's with the new two line system! Yeah, no coffee for me.

I'm out of time and places to stop. We head over to Grandma & Grandpa's new house, sans the coffee. I figured I'd stop at the next McDonald's on the way to Grandma Great's (Jeremy's Grandma) before the party. No problem.

We're heading to Grandma-Great's and we pull off the freeway to McDonald's on the next exit and there are orange cones in the drive thru lane and a sign on the order box "Closed this weekend due to equipment maintenance." Are You Shitting ME!?! That's 3!

So, I said to myself, "Self. There is another McDonald's on Grandma's corner. Try that." We get into the drive-thru and there are cars behind us so I can't get out. Guess What!?! I see a sign on the drive-thru menu "We apologize our McCafe Specialty beverage machine is under maintenance." I order soft drinks for Jacob and I when Jeremy calls. I explain the whole mess to my laughing husband who says, "Just go to Starbucks, it's right next door. You deserve it." to which I responded, "I'm already on the way and I'm getting me one of them BIG summinabitches too!" which thankfully we did as in all my haste at the last decaffeinated McDonald's, I didn't get straws for our sodas.

But, damn! That was one delicious giant coffee! And I savored every last drop!

Veteran's Day: 2011

2011-11-11T08:44:00.001-05:00

November 10, 1975

2011-11-10T21:07:00.001-05:00

I was a little more than two years old then but, having grown up in Northern Michigan in a lakeside town, the story of the Edmund Fitzgerald is not something we will ever forget.

She was built in River Rouge over by Detroit. She had hauled taconite pellets from near Duluth, MN back to Detroit for 17 years setting numerous records. On this night, she was doing just the same when she was caught in the storm - the worst storm in 3 decades, they say. She was mighty and we were so proud. In her time, at 729 feet she was the longest freighter on the Great Lakes. The sinking of the Edmund Fitzgerald is one of the best-known disasters in the history of Great Lakes shipping.

It's fitting now, that I'm sitting here thinking about the "Mighty Fitz" as it's snowing here to beat all heck! It was snowing so hard on my way home from work that I could barely see. Could you imagine being out in icy Lake Superior on such a snowy night - with the wind and the waves and no hope of safely making it to land? Or even the shelter of Whitefish Bay?

Yet 29 men, 29 souls braved that November storm to do their jobs. And 29 men lost their lives when "The Pride of the American Flag" slipped into the icy blue water. 36 years in their watery graves. Their bodies were never recovered. Though the legend is full of theories, no one truly knows what happened to bring her down.

I had the chance to visit Whitefish Point to the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum a few years ago. They have a lifeboat from the Fitz and that boat - it's dented and beat. It's difficult to comprehend that the water caused such damage to that metal boat. I remember standing on the deck there looking out over the water and thinking of that beautiful ship, and the night she and her 29 men came to lay in their icy grave.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed,
in the "Maritime Sailors' Cathedral."
The church bell chimed 'til it rang twenty-nine times
for each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.
The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
of the big lake they call "Gitche Gumee."
"Superior," they said, "never gives up her dead
when the gales of November come early!" ~ Gordon Lightfoot

Going Primitive...

2011-11-09T13:09:00.000-05:00

For Christmas that is. I decided today that I'm going to re-vamp my Christmas decorations. Which means, my husband is going to want to kill me but, hey...is that anything new!?!

It all started with the wreath I posted a few days ago. I started thinking about my Christmas stockings and then my ornaments - well some of them, and the rest of the stuff I have. And well...I'm pushing 40 here - shouldn't I have my own Christmas decorations that I love instead of cast-offs from my mother?

I have a bunch of ornaments that I do LOVE! They're homemade gifts from my niece and nephew (Karen) and they fit PERFECTLY with the direction I want to go. My sisters seemed to know way back when, in giving me these, what I was going to like one day! I also have a collection from my sister, Gloria that are very natural or nature themed. Thankfully, they will fit right in.

But, the best are a box of old 1940's/1950's Mercury Glass ornaments that belonged to my parents. Those will look so pretty with my home made ornaments and just the right touch of "store bought". I'm thinking of ornaments made from thread spools and tea cloths. And buttons! With simple things like stars and hearts and popcorn strings, painted things that just look old. Sadly, it means changing to white lights but, I think it'd be OK.

Jeremy - it won't be that expensive. I could make most of what I need. I can sew. I could sew new stockings for us. I could sew a new tree skirt. Luckily, we're in Craft Fair Season and I can get some ideas too. As for my old Christmas stuff - we can write that off when we donate it with the Halloween stuff I just purged. Okay?

I can't wait to sort out what I have and bring in the new pulled together theme. I can't wait to share the progress with you! And yes, I'll post plenty of pictures.

The last supper...

2011-11-08T21:45:00.001-05:00

I was out of my original material today and out of things to share so I'm opting for a prompt today.

If you knew that whatever you ate next would be your last meal, what would you want it to be?

At first I thought of my local favorite - The Grill House a grill your own steakhouse where I typically choose to go for my birthday or our anniversary because I'm such a creature of habit. I know what I like there and I know I'll like it every time. Jeremy and I typically split a steak and we enjoy each other's company while hanging out in the grill room over drinks and garlic toast while he grills our steak to a perfect medium rare. They serve a salad - and it's wonderful! I love the vinaigrette they use. You also get a baked potato with cheese, butter, sour cream and fresh chives (it's a help yourself type deal so you can really heap the toppings on and I LOVE fresh chives!) as well as a delicious bowl of BBQ baked beans.

The more I thought of it, the more I realized I don't want my last meal to be a boring old steak.

Here in Allegan, we also have a little drive up - place your order - eat in the car - type restaurant called Corky's. They're only open April - October and they have the best burgers and chili fries that I wait for all winter long. They also have home made root beer. Yep, that's it...that's what I'd want. A cheeseburger with ketchup and relish with an order of chili cheese fries. I love how the grease from the burger turns the wax paper translucent and it's all soaked into the bun.

And on the way home, we'd have to stop at Bubba's Sports Bar and get an order of deep fried pickles. Garlic-y pickle spears dipped in a spicy batter, deep fried to a perfect golden with homemade buttermilk ranch to dip them in! YUM!

That'd do it. I'd die happy - or at least my stomach would!

A little hint...

2011-11-07T16:28:00.003-05:00

Hey Santa?

It's a Rag Wreath. Isn't it beautiful? Made with high quality homespun fabrics.

You can find them at the Rag Wreath Boutique on Etsy. She has so many beautiful designs for the Holidays and everyday. I'd like to hang one over my fireplace for Christmas. I just need to choose the size and color.

Footprints in the Sand

2011-11-06T12:14:00.002-05:00

You may know this, you may not. Footprints in the Sand has always been my favorite story or legend, I guess you could call it. Since I was a child always. I believed in it like any child would believe in their father, because I believe any father would (or at least try to) carry their child through the toughest times of their lives. Kind of a funny belief coming from the child of a father with MS. I mean my earthy father couldn't carry me very well so, I trusted my Heavenly Father to that task...I guess parochial school did its job!

For as long as I can remember, I've had a father/child relationship with my Lord. I spoke to him freely as a best friend rather than a powerful being. I took this verse to heart -

Luke 18:16-17

Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."

Sure, I grew up, became an opinionated adult and I've been angry with my Lord and I mean ANGRY! Just like I've had other disagreements in my life, I've had them with the Lord and I've told him exactly what I thought of Him and his little plan for me too. And eventually, like a daughter does with her Father, I took a little time away and I saw the Light...that my Father was right. He'd always been right. I just wasn't trusting in Him.

You may have seen it, maybe not but, I wear this cross pendant everyday. I rarely take it off.

What you may not know is that I don't wear it for the status. I'm not a perfect Christian - in fact I'm far from it. I certainly make my share of mistakes - I swear like a sailor, I'm often selfish and spoiled and well...we won't go into that laundry list. I don't wear it so you'll think I'm religious. I don't wear it because it was a gift from my husband. I don't wear it to show the world my faith. I wear it to remind ME of my faith. To remind ME that even when my life isn't what I want it to be, my life where my Father is leading ME and even when I feel I'm walking my road alone, my Father is carrying ME safely to where I need to be. To remind ME that I do have a Father that loves and cares for ME and that he is really the one who is in control of this show. Not ME.

2 Saturdays in October

2011-11-05T08:48:00.000-04:00

We cheated this year and bought our apples rather than pick them. Time just got away from us and finding time to get to the actual orchard to do it ourselves was out of the question. On the left are Nothern Spies for baking and the right are Honeycrisps for eating. I bought them at the Farmer's Market, the next best thing to straight from the orchard.

And some Acorn Squash.

Freshly baked apple crisp.

We also had some friends invite us out for a hayride/bonfire. Jacob's FIRST hayride! They did pinatas and had hot apple cider. After the 3rd time around and I could see my breath - that was enough hayride. What a great time we had!

Reflections in the leaves

2011-11-04T09:47:00.001-04:00

I love fall. I love the cooler temps, sweatshirts, sweaters, falling leaves, the crispness in the air. I love the color in the trees, the warmth of candles, and the perfect excuse to eat pumpkin pie every chance I get!

With all of these things that I love at this time of year, I can't help but think of the memories of loss as well as the chances I've had to create new beginnings. I guess that is why fall is so important to me - remembering my losses and the opportunities I've been given, and what I've learned from both the losses and my successes. The thing that make each of us who we are.

I just finished reading Mitch Albom's Have a Little Faith (which was a great book) and in it, was a poem or a quote by Robert Browning Hamilton ~

"I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chatted all the way,
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er word said she
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!"

Sure we remember the fun times we've had and the joy in them but, think for a minute about the tough things you've been through and what you learned from them. Had I not buried my sister (her funeral was November 1). I wouldn't understand how important it is to tell someone how you feel about them at every opportunity because you might never see them again.

Had my Dad not suffered with Multiple Sclerosis all of my life and most of his, I might not have learned compassion for others and to do the things you love to do while you can because they can be stolen from you - no matter how healthy you are.

Had I been able to bear a biological child, I would have missed the opportunity to have the sweetest, most adorable son on the planet. And it terrifies me to think of the life he could have had without me.

Had I had the ideal parent, I might not have learned to love and appreciate every. single. moment. with my child. I wouldn't have learned to take the time to appreciate the joy in my child when we do things together.

Had my parents not divorced when I was so young I might not have learned what it takes to make my marriage as happy and as solid as it is.

Had I not wasted 6 years in an awful relationship, I wouldn't have learned what I wanted the relationship with my life partner to be like...

"I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er word said she
But, oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!"

Beware: A Viking bearing Brussels Sprouts

2011-11-03T12:17:00.000-04:00

I was in the Farmer's Market one afternoon when I saw this funky looking stick thing and I thought to myself "Self? What is that?" Upon closer inspection, I realized they were Brussels Sprouts - on a stick!

And yes, the correct term is Brussels Sprouts named for the city in Belgium. I'm not sure if they're grown on a stick and I don't care because I don't like the word stalk.

Why my child wanted his picture taken with the Brussels Sprouts is beyond me...that said, so is the Viking Helmet.

Take just one more...

Did you know they grew on a stick like this? Me neither.

Oh right, you probably don't like Brussels Sprouts. Jacob doesn't either. But, I do - except for these. This stick (well not the stick itself, I know better that to eat that - I meant the sprouts ON the stick) wasn't very good - terribly bitter. I'm told they didn't get enough water. But, everything is better with Bacon! I'll try that recipe again someday - with frozen Brussels sprouts.

NaBloPoMo...

2011-11-02T09:36:00.000-04:00

is the abbreviation for National Blog Posting Month which just so happens to be in November. And though I have known about NaBloPoMo for a few years, this is the first time I will actually participate in the festivities. Yay!

The theme is blogging for blogging's sake. I'll use some of my own stuff and BlogHer.com will also be providing daily prompts which I'm sure I'll take advantage of especially when I get bored of posting about things I've cooked, pictures of my adorable kid and other senseless drivel.

I have opened the site to allow comments - you do not need to register on my site. But, please if you are deeply moved enough to comment, leave your name so I'll know who you are! You may also subscribe by email and the little pointy eared elves behind the scenes at blogger will send my lovely postings to your email every night while you sleep snugly in your warm beds.

So find a comfy seat, a nice warm cup of coffee, tea, cocoa, or whatever your pleasure and we'll see you here every day, for the next 30 days.

Happy Halloween 2011!

2011-11-01T11:05:00.001-04:00

Jeremy dressed as Dr. Howie Feldersnatch and the other guy is Kyle, one of Jeremy's employees that dressed up as Jeremy for Halloween. He even shaved his head! By the way, Kyle won "The Best Costume"

We also helped out at Jacob's school for Halloween again this year. Aren't these spider hats the cutest!?!

Daddy dressed up as Mark McGwire for the school party.

And they painted T-shirts at the party.

And had a snack...

After school, we took the cutest Sheriff's Deputy in history to see the Allegan County Sheriff. Jacob is in Sheriff Koops office. The hat he's wearing was on the shelf there...see the ballcap? That was Jacob's hat - he traded! Sheriff Koops wasn't in the office today but, we had some friends that were so happy to see JJ.

We got to see the dog.

Had a little meeting with the Sergeant, the Lieutenant, and the K-9 Handler.

Tried on another hat...

Kicked back and took a little "snooze" at the Undersheriff's desk...

Caught up on a couple of emails...

All in all...it was a good time!

A HUGE thank you to the Allegan County Sheriff's Department for their hospitality and Allegan City Police for all of their help in putting this costume together. Happy Halloween!

Carving Pumpkins: 2011

2011-10-31T08:19:00.002-04:00

Home

2011-10-25T14:02:00.001-04:00

I recently was given my 15 year service award at work. Technically, it's not until November 20 but, they celebrate every one's milestones all at once. They had a luncheon (which I missed) and I was given a catalog to choose a gift in recognition for my service. I couldn't help but think of what led me here, 15 years ago. The job I lost, the bills I had, the changes I desperately needed to make.

I remember my first day here - oh what a mess! I was 23 years old. I was told to report but, not where TO report. The building was like the size of 2 pro football stadiums joined together at a corner. Thankfully, my brother (10 years seniority at that point) was able to help me to get to where I needed to be and he knew my new teamleader. When I first started here, I worked on the assembly line that made the interior of the Dodge Viper. I worked on that line for 90 days - most of the time being transferred to help another team - and on my 90th day, I was given a pee test and a permanent transfer to the door panel line for the Jeep Grand Cherokee. I worked my butt off over there! I worked overtime, I stayed late, I worked holidays - I just worked. I was a production trainer - training new people as they came on our line - and I loved it! I did that for two years eventually even taking on a small quality control role for model year change over. When I started my job at Viper, I had 5 years experience in Electronics assembly and eventually, the Electronics Department here found out about that and I was offered a job as a stockroom clerk. I took it. It was a transfer out of the plant. And from 2nd shift to the day shift. I was handed the reins and allowed to make my job into what it is today. I think back to those days when I was using someone else's credit card with a $10,000/month limit - to now where I have my own $50,000/month limit and I spend (with purchase orders INcluded) an average of $1.6M (that's MILLION folks) every month!

It's easy to see how far I've come in 15 years though harder to think about where I came from.

I think about what I left behind. Sometimes, I miss what was home. I miss the smell of PCA on a fall morning. I miss the low drone of the fog horn. I miss the smell of Lake Michigan - and the wet sand. I miss the cidery sweetness of the apple orchards in the fall and the dust from harvesting corn.

I miss watching the sun dip into Lake Michigan at the end of the day. I miss the wind in the dune grass bending and swaying in the lake breeze, and the whitecaps breaking on shore. I miss waiting for the big ships to come through the channel, listening to the deckhands calling to each other while preparing to unload, and the 'dinging' of the bridges as they go up or down. I miss walks on the pier in both the warm sunshine and the cold wind.

Of course, I also miss Big Al's subs and A&W Coney Dogs with a mug of root beer. I miss burgers and beers at the "Nortside" on a Sunday afternoon and being forced to watch the Lions on the TV. I miss the stale cigarette smoke and beer combination in the old bars where I hung out. Oddly, some of the bartenders are still around...

Yet, when I go home, it's not the same. The casino has taken over the apple orchards, the condos have the beach. I always seem to miss the big boats, and the fog horn can barely be heard anymore. Most of the bars are now closed and the "Nortside" is for sale. PCA no longer makes the type of paper that caused that stink (once in a while it still seeps out) and I never get a chance to take my time and walk on the pier.

As much as I miss where I came from, I have to go back to where I am. I've made a good life for myself and my family too - the family that grew here. I think of the traditions we make here and our own little 'one of a kinds'. Looking back at just this past year, our Corky's Drive-In, July 3 Jubilee, Vitale's Pizza, 'The Breakfast Stop', our library that rarely asks for my name anymore. The relationship we've built with our Police and Fire Departments. Free Matinees at The Regent Theater all summer. Our neighbors and the friends we've made in the community. I didn't realize it before but, we do have so much here.

When I left "home", I never thought I'd find those little comforts again. They couldn't be anywhere else! I always looked at everything as temporary. I wasn't going to put in roots. And it just happened....Jeremy and I were talking about this not too long ago - We may have come from cities that are 4 hours apart but, here we are 10 years in our house and Allegan finally feels like home. It's good to be home.

Jacob - Kindergarten 2011/2012

2011-10-19T12:03:00.000-04:00

Jacob's school picture from Kindergarten this year. He managed to smile and hide the fact that he's missing his bottom 2 front teeth!

I will be mailing them out to our family and friends very soon!

And Halloween is coming soon, soon, soon! You're not going to BELIEVE this costume.

We are taking guesses as to what Jacob will be this year. If you'd like to take a guess, please post in the comments section. Of course, there will be a prize!

Coupons

2011-10-17T10:44:00.001-04:00

So, I had this dream. Not a dream while I was sleeping but, maybe call it a daydream, I guess.

I'm sure by now you've heard of TLC's show Extreme Couponing and how these people take home nearly $1000 worth of groceries for little or no money. Wouldn't that be great!?! To have that ability? To have a stock pile of stuff that cost you nothing - or next to nothing? Or to be able to make a HUGE donation to the local food pantry to help others in need?

I thought so too. I bought a binder and Jeremy would go out on Sunday morning to get the papers (2) for me to cut the coupons. I'd spend an hour cutting coupons, then watch the sales and try to match up. And I got a few deals, learned a little bit. Mostly I learned that I was spending more money by using the damn coupons on things I wouldn't normally buy!

In Michigan - none of the grocery stores double coupon. Once in a while, maybe but, never consistently. Nor do we have stores that offer a discount card (at least not in my area). Which I'm not sure I understand...Michigan has been hardest hit by this mess of an economy - would that help the people in Michigan or hurt us more.

In the past, I have done most of my grocery shopping at Aldi. Aldi distributes under their own brand where I can buy a gallon of milk for $2.39, a box of cereal for $1.79, and $5.29 for a can of coffee (not the little can). Milk in my regular store - I've never seen it lower than $2.50. Even the store brand of cereal is more than $1.99/box. And coffee - at LEAST $8 for the same size can. Even with a coupon for coffee- which rarely exists, I couldn't compete with Aldi.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have gotten some pretty good deals with coupons. For example, laundry detergent - $6.99 and buy one get one free. Good deal, right? I happened to have a coupon for $1 off of 2. I walked out with 2 bottles for $5.99. Better yet - a detergent on clearance from $8.99 to $4.99 and I had 2 - $1 off coupons. I got each bottle for $3.99. Now - question is, did I need laundry detergent (let alone 4 bottles)? No. Not really. But, I got a good deal.

I had a similar thing happen with deli sliced cheese. On sale 2/$5. I had a coupon for $1 off of each. I got those cheeses for $1.50 a piece. (Did you know that you can use 2 coupons because you're buying 2 items?). Again, did I need cheese? Nope. But again, I got a good deal.

See what I mean. I spent almost $20 on things that I didn't really need. And that's not including the price of the newspaper. Yet, I did have them later rather than spending more to buy them in the future. Am I really saving any money?

I found I was spending my $120 budget at Aldi and then spending another at least $50 at the big store using coupons.

I did find that purchasing the name brand items, even using coupons was costing me more money over the store brand, over the Aldi brand. I've given up the coupon game. I've gone back to Aldi for my shopping. Only using the big store to fill in the gaps. I'm back to my $120/per 2 weeks budget. And I'm saving my hour on Sunday to play Go Fish. I like having more time for that! See ya coupons!

Rest in Peace Steve Jobs

2011-10-06T12:42:00.002-04:00

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. ~ Steve Jobs

I had no interest in Steve Jobs yesterday when I saw the news he had passed. Matter of fact, I said to myself when I saw it on my homepage, "Who is that?".

His quote above came to me in an email from Echo Bodine - the psychic/intuitive that I'm seeing this weekend. I actually smiled when I saw this quote because it is EXACTLY what I was saying in my post yesterday. I'm tired of wasting my time doing what others think I should - or not doing what others think I shouldn't. Because they think it's wrong, it's the devil's work, Satan's song, a gypsy craft or whatever. I can't continue to let those opinions drown out what I know, what I hear, and what I see (though I don't typically see - I more hear or feel). I have to follow my heart. I have to follow what I know I want to do and who I want to be. I wonder why that message came to me yesterday...and now I wonder what time Steve Jobs passed away...

Shitballs!

2011-10-05T10:53:00.002-04:00

It just seemed like an appropriate title for everything that is going on in my life right now. I've been kinda quiet here, sharing mostly photos of the good times, places we've gone and things we've done. Not to impress or to show off but, for myself. This is where I document my life and the things in it. It's been awhile since I've done a 'what are we up to' post. And it's time.

Jacob is liking Kindergarten. Just this week he's allowed me to drop him at the door to walk in by himself. He let Dad do this last week. But today, he got upset and chased the car as I pulled away so I had to stop and go back. (Normally, I do wait for him to go in but, he was walking with a kid from day-care to the door and he was going in - then turned and ran back. They have a teacher or Aide out there that caught him plus I did see what happened and stopped.) Kindergarten (especially all day Kindergarten) is tough on little boys and they have to be so good for so long and we're struggling with being good at home. We've worked hard to get to bed by 8/8:30, which is tough when mom gets home at 6, when we have homework (a book sent home to read 3 nights a week) and getting more sleep is helping some with the attitude. He's had a hard time making decisions and sticking to them. "I don't want to play in the sand!" and when it's time to go, "But, I WANTED to PLAY in the sand!". He's picked up some odd jobs around the house, such as folding wash clothes, throwing the clothes into the washer or dryer, putting away the Tupperware, and last week he used his "big boy muscles" to help me bring in the groceries. He is doing well in school. He got 26/26 of his capital letter and lowercase letter recognition. And 22/26 on the sounders (missing I, E, U, and Y). He loves to play Alphabet Go Fish and I guess we need to play a few more games using the sounders rather than the letters! Jacob is very into animals right now sleeping with like 5 or 6 every night. Since the circus, tigers have been his favorite. His Sensory Processing Disorder seems to come and go but, has mostly shown in his moods. Quick to cry or get upset - or simply shut down. We've had a lot of changes this summer into fall but, all in all, he's a bright and beautiful boy who loves his police and firefighters. He's quick to smile and so easy to love!

Jeremy is still with the restaurant and facing his own challenges in an economy that has totally kicked our area in the ass. How do you get people into a restaurant to spend money that they don't want to spend? Think about your finances - you used to go for dinner, get an appetizer, a couple drinks, the entree and a dessert - even if to share. Now, you go for dinner, skip the appetizer, get one drink each and forget the dessert. Right? So what can a restaurant do for you to go back to they way it was? What makes you willing to spend a little more? Exactly! Sadly, his schedule, Jacob and my job don't allow him much free time for himself - yet he'd likely use it to catch up on his sleep.

His Cardinals head into game 4 of the playoffs tonight and we could have another series ahead of us. Baseball in October is the best!

Soon he'll start with storm windows, raking leaves, and getting the old house ready for winter.

As for Me, I of course spend the majority of my time running around as if my hair were on fire! I'm back to work full-time, gave up the dream of having my own soap making business and that's okay. I'll still make soap for our own use (I can make the scent I want, it lasts longer, and costs less) and of course, I will fill orders by request. I guess my heart just isn't into it as much. I'm still selling on eBay. I've been reading a lot of books both for myself and as part of Jacob's homework. I left another 'bookclub' this summer - I'm just not good at those things. I'm learning about following my heart, listening to my intuition and I'm taking as many courses in this area as I can. Matter of fact, I have a big seminar/workshop this weekend with Echo Bodine and I am very excited for this opportunity. I'm a little tired of hiding my interests/knowledge in the psychic/intuitive world. And now it's known - I'm studying/practicing to be a psychic/medium/intuitive. I've been reading/honing my craft for over a year now. It's something I have wanted to do for a long, long, time and the opportunity has presented itself and keeps presenting itself. It will take me a long time to get there but, following your heart is rarely a quick trip. And I no longer have piercing blackout headaches which is a bonus! I'm working toward enjoying myself more, my family more, my friends more, softening my heart, and learning to lower some of my expectations in people and to forgive easier. I will have 15 years in at my job this fall (November 17) and I am constantly reminded how blessed I am to have not only a job but, a job that has allowed me to work part-time when my family (and my sanity) needed me, to flip the switch back to full-time when I was ready, where I can leave early for day-care emergencies or appointments AND I am allowed to work from home if need be. 15 years - it's a long time and no, I don't plan to leave. I love it too much. I report to a new boss this summer after over 10 years with the other. Change, though different is always good.

And Kelsey, I couldn't forget my pain-in-the-ass-beautiful-brown-dog! She's about a year and a half. She's still quite a puppy. She's a 70 lb. shithead that thinks she's a 10 lb. cat and can lay up on the back of my couch! She likes to run away every chance she gets and we've spent many an afternoon chasing her through the neighborhood with a bag of pig ears. She loves to sit between me and the counter when I'm cooking hoping for something to fall - she knows how it works. And she keeps me company lying on the landing when I'm doing laundry with a big wet smooch when I come her way. We've battled a nasty case of flea allergy dermatitis this summer and watched as most of my beautiful chocolate lab lost most of her hair. We've since switched flea treatments and it's growing back. She's also on a regimen of fish oil (to help keep her joints and her coat healthy) and allergy pills (for the flea allergy). We're still working on 'get down' but, she's pretty good at staying on the front porch. Though there is nothing better than sharing your bed with a snoring brown dog or having one lie on your cold toes on a fall afternoon! For all the hair or lack thereof, the dead grass, the pills, the vet bill, and the bones that I step on all over the house, I can't imagine a day without her.

Whew! This is the time of year that I love. Fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Jacob's birthday, Christmas and my paid holiday (another reason I love my job). It brings with it a whole new dimension of chaos but, it's so warm, and oddly, so calming for me. I love the wind down from summer to ease into winter and the things we enjoy in between. I guess everyone has their case of 'shitballs' every now and again and it's all a matter of what is coming on the other side (and I don't mean as in passing away to the other side) to greet you as to how you get through it. There's so much more to share and I'm looking forward to it.

Supercross Races at the fair - 2011

2011-09-26T12:55:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned, we're still in our fair week frenzy - though this post is the last! Jeremy's boss won tickets to the Supercross races at the fair but, he wasn't able to go and gave the tickets to Jeremy and Jacob. There were 2 tickets so, I dropped them off and had a couple of hours of alone time - Thank you, Jason!

I think he enjoyed himself.

And of course, no visit anywhere is quite the same without a fire department involved somehow. Jacob and Bruce (our chief) are going through the storage cabinets on the Fire Engine. Yes, Jacob does know what is in each cabinet on which truck.

Remember in my post about the fair parade, when I talked about our firefighters and their concern for Jacob at the parade? Everyone of the firefighters on duty the night of the supercross, came up to Jeremy or asked Jeremy what was wrong with Jacob at the parade. The knew something was wrong but didn't know what and each expressed concern for their little admirer. I was moved to tears. I try to curb the siren obsession as much as I can. I don't want Jacob to be a bother, or a pest, or least of all in the way. These guys are always so kind - "No, no, you're fine". Yet to know they were watching for him during the parade, they knew something was wrong and they expressed such genuine caring (when I always feel like a pest) - it melted my heart. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. :)

A little bit of the Circus - 2011

2011-09-25T14:00:00.003-04:00

It's taking me forever to get all of these up here - sheesh! When I tell you that our overnight in Sturgis, the Fair Parade, the fair, this post, and the next post were all in the same week (actually with the exception of Sturgis, consecutive nights)...you'll understand. I hope.

Thursday night, a friend of mine from back home and her son came to Allegan County Fair to see Jason Aldean which worked perfectly as we had tickets to the Ringling Bros. Barnum and Bailey Circus! I had tried to take Jacob to the circus last year and it didn't work out. I was concerned when Jeannie said she was coming because I had these tickets (Jacob didn't know) and I wasn't sure how we'd work it out. Thankfully, both events were on the same night. Here are some highlights:

"When's it gonna start?"

The clowns.

The opening routine.

One of Jacob's favorites - the tigers!

Daddy's favorite.

And Jacob enjoyed the show so much, that he pooped out on the way home!

Allegan County Fair - 2011

2011-09-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

Our time at the fair itself was pretty limited this year. Between school, the weather and everything else we had going on this week (as you'll soon see), we had one single opening to actually go to the fair. And it was raining.

We walked the 4H barns and checked out the exhibits. We also went through the vendors but, didn't make it back to see the animals.

It finally dried up enough to ride a few rides.

Have a snack.

Ride another ride (isn't he adorable!?!).

And hit the Ferris Wheel with Daddy - cuz this mommy won't ride rides for one, and 2) she's afraid of heights!

Sadly, there were no fried pickles to be found at the fair this year. We looked everywhere. Yet the Monster bag of cotton candy was readily available. And just maybe made up for the rain - just a little.

The Fair Parade - 2011

2011-09-23T20:31:00.002-04:00

We had a little vacation last week. I also happened to be fair week in Allegan and fair week in Allegan just happens to get a little CRAZY! We kick off the fun with the fair parade. I know it sounds odd - "you have a parade...to celebrate the fair?" Yes, yes we do. And this year, the last number I saw was 131. That's 131 entries.

Just so you know -

The Allegan County Fair

The Allegan County Fair is one of the largest county fairs in the state, also with one of the largest fair parades in the nation. The county fair plays host to all sorts of events that the family is sure to love, including concerts, classic carnvial games and rides, a demolition derby, rodeo and so much more.

(Did you see that? "One of the largest fair parades in the NATION!"

And here come the Firetrucks! Bruce is in the lead.

Followed by Robert in the new pumper.

And a whole crew of kids on the old pumper. Including Jacob's best little friend. Jacob had the opportunity to ride and he said "No. No thank you."

The rescue truck.

Remember this guy? It's our old friend #10 from Hopkins and the July 4th parade.

How about the guy on your right? He's firefighter Tim from breakfast at Daddy's work.

And what parade wouldn't be complete without the "Allegan Ambulance"?

We forgot Jacob's ear protection. Though my boy loves Fire Engines, police cars, honks, and sirens and he can stand in a closed fire station to listen to them - at parades, this is what happens. Now when our firefighter friends saw this and Jacob crying they were very concerned. Our Chief stopped his truck, many of the firefighters mouthed the words 'what's wrong with Jacob?', 'Is Jacob okay?', etc. We did our best to let them know he was okay but, they were worried.

These were/are my favorite. You see, my grandpa, Edna's dad raised Belgian Draft Horses and they are just beautiful. I remember standing up on the fence at the farm when my grandpa would let them out and the thunder from their hooves would about shake me off of that fence. I'll never forget it.

Jacob's friend "Little Dude". He's the plumber that the city contracted to connect the new sewer system last summer, I think. He and Jacob made fast friends.

Every fair parade needs a "Miss Manure".

And her entourage.

Huge - just huge! Have you ever seen a six door dually Chevy pickup? Look at these trucks in relation to the people. It's HUGE!

Did I mention that the fair parade was larger than our Memorial Day Parade and the 2 July 4 parades that we were in COMBINED! Laugh at my fair parade....go ahead!

From the teacher

2011-09-20T15:45:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to share this since Jacob brought it home the first day of school. It made me choke up a bit (even now) and I hope his teacher truly feels this way because if she does, then I'll really, really like her!

"Thank you-
     For sending me your little boy today.
     All of your years of patient care
     Have made him ready for this day.

Send Him to Me-
     Again tomorrow.
     I hope I will prove myself worthy
     To teach him and guide him
     This first year of his school life.

May I return Him-
     To you at the end of the year
     A little taller
     A little stronger
     And a little closer to his goal.

Thank you,
Mrs. M."

A Day in Sturgis

2011-09-12T09:45:00.002-04:00

Jeremy had an opportunity to fill in at another store about an hour and a half from our house. We didn't want him to make that drive home alone in the middle of the night so, I booked a hotel room, we kenneled Kelsey for the night, and Jacob and I went with him to Sturgis.

I had to share this as Pumpkin Spice Lattes are on my Fall to-do list and this was the first one of this fall. Besides, how else to start of a road trip besides with a GREAT cup of coffee! Jeremy did try the Salted Caramel Mocha and that was pretty good as well!

Jacob and I did a little school shopping at the Wal*Mart in Sturgis. These were waiting in the parking lot. Jeremy was told that most of the stores here do have hitches out front for the horses. These poor guys - it was raining.

Our room. It had this awesome little refrigerator - I so want one. (I keep telling Jeremy that we should have one for our bedroom. Before you think I'm crazy - just think about it a minute. Especially if your bedroom is upstairs from your kitchen.)

And of course, we found the Sturgis Fire Department, with their September 11 memorial in place.

We walked around the back and found the Sturgis Police but, they didn't come outside (until we were out front).

But Firefighter Mike did! And Jacob and I got a ride in their BIG ladder truck!!

There was a huge SCBA pack attached to the seat behind my back and the siren controls at my feet - we didn't have much room.

Close up of the painting on the side of the bucket.

And in case you forgot that we were in Sturgis.

Even Daddy got to "drive" a pumper.

And while Jeremy and I were goofing around with a $10,000.00 thermal imaging camera and Jacob and Firefighter Mike were "driving to a fire"....

Sturgis Fire Department got a call and we had to go! Jacob got to see lights and hear the sirens!

We sat on the bench and watched them go. Jacob cried.

I felt so badly for him, I got coffee. If you ever see a Great Lakes Coffee Company, and you like coffee. You NEED to go there. They didn't have anything pumpkin but, they did have a Milky Way Latte - and I am telling you this is the BEST coffee I have EVER had! Yes, that good!

I love firefighters that love kids - as we were heading out of town, Sturgis Fire was coming back to the station, and they recognized us as we passed by while they were backing into the station, they honked, waved, and gave us a little...as Jacob calls it a "NNRRTT" on the siren.

At this point, I was really glad that we did go with Jeremy on this little trip, and I was really, really glad when we found out that on our way home, we were detouring through Battle Creek to pick up some food products (and I could do some more school shopping!). On the way across, we passed through this little town called Leonidas. And wouldn't you know it - we had to pull over for some fire trucks coming lights & siren!

Sturgis? You ask? What's in Sturgis? Plenty. Trust me!

Thoughts on Teachers and Education

2011-09-09T12:43:00.001-04:00

I don't get what this world is coming to. I'm not sure what parents are trying to teach their children and I can't say that I'm excluded from my previous statements either. I'm sorry - if you're boy or girl, rich/poor, fat/thin, cute/homely, brave/chicken, old/young - I don't care...we all have our crosses to bear. Some things in life just are not fair! No matter what - they just aren't. Maybe we didn't have the best childhood...who did? That's why it's childhood - you GROW out of it. Some times in your life you come across challenges that just plain SUCK and you know what - you can't blame anyone, you just pull your damn boots on and you go. YOU GET THROUGH IT.

As much as I love my son, and as hard as it is going to be for him, there are things in life that he's going to have to figure out on his own. I can't point out every bump, fix every hurt, constantly remind Jacob to be nice or to remind other children to play nice with him. Part of being a parent is knowing when to stand up and protect and knowing when to just watch and learn. It's been a tough few days know he's at school and I can't see everything that happens to him in a day. But, that's when I have to trust that I've done well to this point, he knows the rules and I have to trust in him to follow them.

My nephew shared an article the other day and it really hit me about how most people these days seem to think they're so wronged, so entitled, so deserving and they'll do anything to get what's due them or their kids. I was disgusted to read this to think of what we're teaching our children.

You can find the article here if you'd like to read it yourself. I've also shared the context below.

"(CNN) -- This summer, I met a principal who was recently named as the administrator of the year in her state. She was loved and adored by all, but she told me she was leaving the profession.

I screamed, "You can't leave us," and she quite bluntly replied, "Look, if I get an offer to lead a school system of orphans, I will be all over it, but I just can't deal with parents anymore; they are killing us."

Unfortunately, this sentiment seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Today, new teachers remain in our profession an average of just 4.5 years, and many of them list "issues with parents" as one of their reasons for throwing in the towel. Word is spreading, and the more negativity teachers receive from parents, the harder it becomes to recruit the best and the brightest out of colleges.

So, what can we do to stem the tide? What do teachers really need parents to understand?

For starters, we are educators, not nannies. We are educated professionals who work with kids every day and often see your child in a different light than you do. If we give you advice, don't fight it. Take it, and digest it in the same way you would consider advice from a doctor or lawyer. I have become used to some parents who just don't want to hear anything negative about their child, but sometimes if you're willing to take early warning advice to heart, it can help you head off an issue that could become much greater in the future.

Trust us. At times when I tell parents that their child has been a behavior problem, I can almost see the hairs rise on their backs. They are ready to fight and defend their child, and it is exhausting. One of my biggest pet peeves is when I tell a mom something her son did and she turns, looks at him and asks, "Is that true?" Well, of course it's true. I just told you. And please don't ask whether a classmate can confirm what happened or whether another teacher might have been present. It only demeans teachers and weakens the partnership between teacher and parent.

Please quit with all the excuses
And if you really want to help your children be successful, stop making excuses for them. I was talking with a parent and her son about his summer reading assignments. He told me he hadn't started, and I let him know I was extremely disappointed because school starts in two weeks.

His mother chimed in and told me that it had been a horrible summer for them because of family issues they'd been through in July. I said I was so sorry, but I couldn't help but point out that the assignments were given in May. She quickly added that she was allowing her child some "fun time" during the summer before getting back to work in July and that it wasn't his fault the work wasn't complete.

Can you feel my pain?

Some parents will make excuses regardless of the situation, and they are raising children who will grow into adults who turn toward excuses and do not create a strong work ethic. If you don't want your child to end up 25 and jobless, sitting on your couch eating potato chips, then stop making excuses for why they aren't succeeding. Instead, focus on finding solutions.

Parents, be a partner instead of a prosecutor

And parents, you know, it's OK for your child to get in trouble sometimes. It builds character and teaches life lessons. As teachers, we are vexed by those parents who stand in the way of those lessons; we call them helicopter parents because they want to swoop in and save their child every time something goes wrong. If we give a child a 79 on a project, then that is what the child deserves. Don't set up a time to meet with me to negotiate extra credit for an 80. It's a 79, regardless of whether you think it should be a B+.

This one may be hard to accept, but you shouldn't assume that because your child makes straight A's that he/she is getting a good education. The truth is, a lot of times it's the bad teachers who give the easiest grades, because they know by giving good grades everyone will leave them alone. Parents will say, "My child has a great teacher! He made all A's this year!"

Wow. Come on now. In all honesty, it's usually the best teachers who are giving the lowest grades, because they are raising expectations. Yet, when your children receive low scores you want to complain and head to the Principal's office.

Please, take a step back and get a good look at the landscape. Before you challenge those low grades you feel the teacher has "given" your child, you might need to realize your child "earned" those grades and that the teacher you are complaining about is actually the one that is providing the best education.
And please, be a partner instead of a prosecutor. I had a child cheat on a test, and his parents threatened to call a lawyer because I was labeling him a criminal. I know that sounds crazy, but principals all across the country are telling me that more and more lawyers are accompanying parents for school meetings dealing with their children.

Teachers walking on eggshells
I feel so sorry for administrators and teachers these days whose hands are completely tied. In many ways, we live in fear of what will happen next. We walk on eggshells in a watered-down education system where teachers lack the courage to be honest and speak their minds. If they make a slight mistake, it can become a major disaster.

My mom just told me a child at a local school wrote on his face with a permanent marker. The teacher tried to get it off with a wash cloth, and it left a red mark on the side of his face. The parent called the media, and the teacher lost her job. My mom, my very own mother, said, "Can you believe that woman did that?"

I felt hit in the gut. I honestly would have probably tried to get the mark off as well. To think that we might lose our jobs over something so minor is scary. Why would anyone want to enter our profession? If our teachers continue to feel threatened and scared, you will rob our schools of our best and handcuff our efforts to recruit tomorrow's outstanding educators.

Finally, deal with negative situations in a professional manner.
If your child said something happened in the classroom that concerns you, ask to meet with the teacher and approach the situation by saying, "I wanted to let you know something my child said took place in your class, because I know that children can exaggerate and that there are always two sides to every story. I was hoping you could shed some light for me." If you aren't happy with the result, then take your concerns to the principal, but above all else, never talk negatively about a teacher in front of your child. If he knows you don't respect her, he won't either, and that will lead to a whole host of new problems.

We know you love your children. We love them, too. We just ask -- and beg of you -- to trust us, support us and work with the system, not against it. We need you to have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve. Lift us up and make us feel appreciated, and we will work even harder to give your child the best education possible.

That's a teacher's promise, from me to you." ~ written by Ron Clark

I put this here more for myself as I really hope to remind me that it's my job as a parent to teach my child as well. I can't dump him on someone else in a room of 22 other people's kids for 7 hours a day and expect miracles. It's my duty as a parent to help my child's teacher to give Jacob the education he needs. It's my job to support her/him. To ask questions of the things that don't make sense - not to simply make accusations. I wish other parents could accept that responsibility as well. Sadly...most just don't understand - and I don't understand them.

Happy Fall Y'All!

2011-09-08T15:21:00.001-04:00

Since Labor Day, the days and nights have been much cooler, school has started, the leaves are falling, I've already killed my plants, and the crispness of Fall is in the air. Ah, my favorite! I love fall - time to welcome football, chili, jeans, sweatshirts, warm socks, candles, apple crisp, and pumkin spice lattes at the Starbucks.

My friend Kate already did her "Soul in the Season" list. And seeing as we're on vacation next week - it's a good time to start our Fall to-do list. Now that I'm thinking of it, it's going to be tough to get it all in this year - I have a kid in school! Wow! How that changes things!

Allegan County Fair (including the parade) is this week. Jeremy and Jacob are trying something new this year - they're going to the Supercross Races (without me...shucks!). I will post pictures of both the parade and our evening at the fair.

The Ringling Bros. Circus

I need to paint our storm windows/trim while Jeremy deals with the pool.

I also go back to work full time this fall. October 3 is the official date.

We'll pick some apples and hopefully try a corn maze this year.

Our trip to Gene the Pumpkin Man to get our pumpkins and some squash for the freezer.

I've already started Jacob's Halloween costume - but, you're going to have to wait until Halloween! I'm not telling!

I also hope to volunteer for Jacob's Halloween party at school.

Thanksgiving - my absolute favorite holiday! I'm looking forward to using my new decorations and trying some new recipes as well.

Try some new fall recipes like pumpkin pizza and of course old ones like pumpkin muffins.

I can't wait to get started!

The First Day of School - 2011

2011-09-07T11:52:00.002-04:00

We started Kindergarten with a bang this year! Reminds me of the melt down before our first day of pre-school. He was angy after being asked to shut the front door and get his coat on while he wanted to go out to yell to the same crossing guard that he was going to see in about 2 seconds when she helped us cross the street.

Now this is the kid I was hoping we could walk to school for his first day! I'm glad he showed up. He was so excited, he told both crossing guards that it was his first day of school.

Waiting outside for the bell to ring. So much going on and so many people! We saw a firefighter and some of our pre-school friends.

Proud Daddy and terrified, unsure what to expect mommy walked Jacob in to his classroom. We helped to put his bag in his locker, give the teacher all of his papers, got some kisses and we left our big boy there. I didn't cry. I got a little choked up and my voice gave a little but, the tears didn't roll.

Jeremy and I walked back home, just the two of us hand in hand. We don't often get a chance to do that. We had coffee before he went to take a nap and I went on to sell some of last year's school clothes. We had planned to go to lunch together in the afternoon. Really, I think I could come to look forward to that ritual on the first day of school. We really enjoyed our meal and each other's company. It was great to spend that time together without our child. I hope we make a new tradition.

Now, the boy we picked up at 2:53PM was nothing like the sweet, hugging, "I'm going to miss you today" boy we left at school. We picked up one heck of an OGRE! My plans of baking cookies with him quickly went out the window to be replaced by a couch sitting Grumpus who watched Thomas' Day of the Diesels about 5 times, and the only break he took was to ride out to McDonald's to pick up his dinner. Bedtime was simple - I think he was asleep before Daddy and I even left his room.

The first is usually the worst. Not knowing what to do, where to go, any of the rules, what is expected, etc. and that goes all the way around - for moms and dads too. I'm sure it's only going to get better!

The day BEFORE the First Day of School...

2011-09-05T11:22:00.001-04:00

I've been through a lot of firsts in my life, transferring to public school from parochial school, job interviews, new jobs, new people and so much more. Sure, I've been nervous about all of those things. I've worked myself into a pretty good tizzy but, nothing, nothing will ever compare to sending my kid to full-time school!

My guts have gone through the wringer over school. I worry about him getting into his classroom - what if he gets lost along the way? Eating his lunch - who's going to help him open his milk? Going potty by himself - will they come find him if he's gone too long because he's dinking around in the water while washing his hands? Is his teacher nice? Will she address his needs? Who'll tie his shoes? And countless other things.

My only relief, thankfully, Jacob does have one little friend from his preschool that will be in his class. And I know they will help each other.

Jeremy and I both took the day off to take Jacob to school on his first day and to pick him up. I'm glad to have Jeremy here for that, I don't think I could do it alone.

Jacob is so excited to start school. His backpack is ready, we've picked out his clothes and shoes for the day. We went shopping for special snacks for his lunch (really? Sloppy Joe Scoops? You think my kid is gonna eat that!?!) All that's left is to pack his lunch and walk him to school. And to cry...cuz that's what moms do!

Happy 40th Birthday Jeremy!

2011-08-30T06:00:00.138-04:00

I struggled with a great gift for my husband for his 40th birthday. He doesn't wear a watch. Clothes aren't his thing. It's too FREAKING hot in St. Louis for a ball game this time of year and I can't buy tickets now for next spring! For a guy that doesn't have much - Jeremy is the MOST difficult person to buy for. So - I'm taking a different approach. Those of you who know me well, you know I don't pour my heart out often. I'll tell you what I think but, it's rare for me to put my emotions out for everyone to see. Sure, to look at Jeremy and I, and our relationship, we talk loud, we argue about everything, we poke fun at each other, and maybe we don't always seem the picture of a loving couple - maybe not even a liking couple. To tell you the truth, I couldn't imagine one second of my life without him and I even though I did struggle at the beginning, looking back, I really knew from the moment I met him...and once I told him that's how he felt about me, that was it! We were stuck!

I met Jeremy a few months before he turned 30 (10 whole years ago!). I really struggled with a birthday gift for him that year too. We'd only been dating for 3, going on 4 months at the time and I didn't think I knew him well enough to spend much money. I had searched and searched and finally picked out a gift. Something perfect. Something I knew he'd LOVE. But, it was expensive! $300! I was living on my own then, alone for the first time EVER - paying my own rent (no roommate), car payment, utilities, etc., not depending on any man to help me. I'd just - I mean JUST come out of a 6 year roller coaster. I both was and I wasn't sure if this new guy (was I ready for a new guy?) was someone, or this relationship was something to invest THAT much money into so early on. I waited and I prayed, at the last possible second, I took the chance. I bought that $300 gift and I gave it to Jeremy for his birthday that year. I'll always remember the smile on his face when he opened it. Jeremy has worn my gift everyday since. And everyday, when I see that gift, I think of my uncertainties in our relationship at that time, which always leads me to remember my leap of faith and where the last 10 years has brought us. We have a lot of memories wrapped up in this time - some good, some not so good. We've learned a lot, we're still learning from each and every one.

We both, of course brought our own baggage into this relationship, as all couples do. I had told Jeremy once - "Don't ever regret your past because every single moment of it had to happen the way it happened to bring us to where we are. If either of us, had skipped just a second of it, we would have missed each other!" Oddly, until recently, I had never thought of it regards to myself - if I hadn't dated this one, or that one - I wouldn't have crossed Jeremy's path. I only wanted him to move forward, not regret the past - it's our past that makes us who we are...maybe I already knew it for myself.

I heard this song back in early July (when I wrote this) and it reminds me of the plan God had/has laid out for us - Jeremy and I. How we don't always know where each step is leading us at the time but, if we look back where we have been, the path is clearly there, laid out behind as it was intended to be.

"Bless The Broken Road" - Rascall Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

I see now, my path was also leading straight to you, our beautiful son, the crazy brown dog, and every other thing in this life we have built together with all of its challenges as well as its triumphs. I'm glad I took a chance and bought that gift for you 10 years ago and I'm still glad it was you, though I don't always show it, I think I'm the one who got the best gift!

Happy 40th Birthday Jeremy! I love you to the moon, and back again.

Gilmore Car Museum - 2011

2011-08-22T13:08:00.001-04:00

We knocked another one off of our Summer To-Do list this weekend. There are a few things that we didn't get to but, there is always next summer, right? Sunday, Daddy was home with us so we took a little drive out to Richlad to check out the Gilmore Car Museum. I'd heard mention of this place before, so I knew it was a bunch of barns with old cars, and I admit, it was not on the top of my list of things to do or to see. Though it doesn't happen often and I rarely admit this but, I was wrong. Yeah, it is a bunch of old barns but, not like old cow barns, each one rich in history, at least one taken apart, numbered, moved and rebuilt at this location - full of beautiful old cars all buffed and polished - not a bit of tarnish on all that brass (is it?)!

This is in the gift shop and it's the only car you are allowed to touch - let alone sit in! Perfect for us!

The Shell gas station - I shit you not, it smelled just like old oil/gas/car in there! Truly an amazing restoration!

"Calling All Cars!"

Daddy's favorite

Mommy's favorite. I found that I was kinda partial to the old Packards, Lincolns, etc. Look at at that - is it brass?

They had 3 or 4 Checker Cabs

And of course, Doc Hudson!

And a little Dale Jr.

A rare Stout Scarab

"Look Mommy just like in my room!"

This staircase was recycled from an old mansion.

Now we're talking! Did I ever tell you that my grandfather was a personal body guard to Henry Ford?

I wanted a family pic with these 2 old Fords. If you've ever visited a museum with a child - you understand what happened.

"Bertie!"

George & Sally’s BLUE MOON DINER - You're going to have to go out to their site and read about this - I can't give it words to do it justice! We did go in and check it out. The frozen custard is delicious!

We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day for this trip - mid 70's with a nice breeze. Jay did great with the "look with your eyes and not your hands" rule. A perfect day to wind down summer!

A little trip to the Fish Hatchery

2011-08-04T09:42:00.002-04:00

With only a few more weeks until school starts, we're trying to use our Wednesdays to squeeze in a few last things that we wanted to do this summer. Wolf Lake Fish Hatchery is another check off of our list. My Dad spent most of his spare time trying to catch these slippery little buggers. I'm told they're good eating, but I don't care much for fish. I always think of my dad when we visit the fish hatchery and his love for sport fishing. I felt him smiling down on us while we fed and learned a little about the fish.

Out front is what they call a show pond. There is a dock that goes out into the middle of the pond with a couple of coin operated dispensers where a quarter gives you a handfull of fish pellets (THEY STINK) to feed these guys - you may not be able to see them very well but, I tell you the fish go CRAZY! They're jumping, flipping, they're out of the water - it's GREAT!

The also have a visitor's center with an exhibit showing how the conservation officers traveled by train throught the state checking and stocking the fish population. This is inside their train car.

"Great Lakes Fish"

With flair!

This is the 'outside of the train and below is a 1928 pickup truck used to transport the cans of fish. (Coincidentally - my dad was born in 1928).

Don't they look real?

My dad would have LOVED it here!

Showing Daddy the turtle.

Jacob's First Lost Tooth

2011-07-31T08:24:00.003-04:00

Last Monday, I picked Jacob up from day-care and Elaine says to me "Jacob has a loose tooth!" I'm all, "Are you shittin' me!?!" Sure enough Jacob opened his mouth and wiggled that little tooth! And me, I cried. Jacob hugged me and we sat in Elaine's kitchen and I cried - my little boy isn't so little anymore. We went home and called all the Grandmas & Grandpas with our big news.

So...here it is. The little tooth that caused all of the excitement.

And of course, the not so little boy who lost it.

How many teeth do they lose anyway?

Make-A-Wish Breakfast

2011-07-29T10:06:00.000-04:00

Last Saturday, our local Applebee's hosted a pancake breakfast to benfit the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Of course, The Otsego Fire Department was on the scene with Firefighter Tim, Firefighter Joel (aka Other Firefighter) and Lt. Baker. Jacob has those boys wrapped right around his little finger.

Trying on Firefighter Joel's gear. "It's too hot!" Jacob said and I couldn't help feeling for these guys - it was 80 degrees the morning with at least 90% humidity - and just think they're gonna put on those jackets, helmuts, and pants, for the sole purpose of helping someone in need. It takes someone pretty special, pretty self-less to put others first like that.

And then he found "The Boss's" hat! Lt. Baker told us that anytime he stops by Otsego Fire Station and the door is open, he's more than welcome to come in and say 'hello!'.

Fantasy Twirl

2011-07-28T18:51:00.004-04:00

Road Trip!

In Daddy's car.

I drive about 30 minutes to work and home everyday. Depending on the weather, how soon I want to get home, and the flow of traffic, there are numerous routes that I can take. On one of these routes - in the middle of nowhere - is a little town called Burnips. It's large enough for a pizza parlor, a gas station, a fire department, a post office, a little bar and well, that's about it...except for Fantasy Twirl. This ice cream spot on a country road just down from a farm equipment dealer. We've talked for years about going, and well...we went!

Oddly, while we were in line to order, a random Fire Department pumper drove by. No lights...no siren...it turns by the Fantasy Twirl and never came back. The summer hay wagon was there too - with peaches & cream sweet corn $3.50/dozen! And it was GOOD!

It was busy! It was hot! And they had "Blue Ice Cream"

with a little boy making funny faces.

We also had to visit Burnips Farm Equipment.

One more check off on our to-do list!

The Personality Test

2011-07-14T11:22:00.004-04:00

A few months ago (Jacob's preschool graduation as a matter of fact), I had a great talk with my sister-in-law, (my brother's wife) I don't see her often but, it seems when we get together, we have so much to share and we talk mile-a-minute to get everything out. My point here, she was telling me about this book Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself by Florence Littauer and well, I couldn't wait to get my hands on this book!

Personality Plus talks about four key personality types.The four temperaments were originally proposed by Hippocrates (the father of medical science) 350 years before the birth of Christ, to explain differences in personalities, based on the predominant bodily fluid-hence the rather unappealing names: Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic, and Melancholic. And here is a link to the quiz if you'd like to try for yourself.

I am a Perfect Meloncholy/Powerful Choleric.

(from CatholicMatch.com) If you are melancholic-choleric, you are somewhat less pragmatic (or utilitarian) than a pure choleric, just as persevering and determined, and with a greater emphasis on the ideal. Likely to be motivated by the most noble and demanding of causes, you are capable of founding a humanitarian society, composing a symphony, founding a school, or discovering a cure. You are organized, perfectionist, introspective, driven, and moody (though less so than a pure melancholic). You will be less active than a choleric-melancholic and less extraverted, more internally focused.

But your weaknesses include a tendency to excessive self-criticism and criticism of others, being dismissive or overly judgmental, exhibiting a tendency to self-absorption, and possessing an untrustful and controlling nature. You tend to be inflexible, can bear grudges for a long time and may be prone to discouragement. A melancholic-choleric who is not attentive to his spiritual life, and does not keep his eye assiduously on the truly important things of life can become a cross to those around him, through his nit-picking, perfectionism, disdain, bitterness, resentfulness, spitefulness when crossed, and even haughtiness.

Personality Strengths of the Melancholy (these bulleted traits came from WomenbyGrace.com

Deep and thoughtful
Analytical
Serious and purposeful
Genius prone
Talented and creative
Artistic or musical
Appreciative of beauty
Sensitive to others
Self-sacrificing
Conscientious
Idealistic
As a parent, sets high standards and wants everything done right.
As a homemaker, keeps everything in order.
As an employee, schedule oriented and hard working.
A list maker and keeper.

Personality Weaknesses of the Melancholy

Easily offended
Can get too caught up in details
Doesn’t do well with change.
Struggles with insecurity
Tends towards depression

Personality Strengths of the Powerful Choleric:

You are a born leader, dynamic and active and have a compulsive need for change.
You often feel that you must correct wrongs.
You are strong-willed and decisive, independent and self-sufficient.
You are not easily discouraged and can be unemotional when necessary.
You are capable of running anything and exude confidence.
You are an expert in exerting sound leadership, establishing goals and able to motivate the family in to action.
You always know the right answer and organize the household.
You are very goal oriented, see the whole picture and organize well.
You seek practical solutions to problems and move quickly to action.
You delegate work but insist on productivity.
You make the goals, stimulate activity and thrive on opposition.
You have little need for friends and will work for group activity.
You often lead from the front, organize and are usually right.
You excel during emergencies.

Personality Weakness of the Choleric

You can be bossy and impatient.
You are quick tempered, can’t relax and can be too impetuous.
You enjoy controversy and arguments and won’t give up when losing.
You can come on too strong, are inflexible and uncomplimentary.
You dislike tears and emotions and are generally unsympathetic.
You tend to over dominate, are too busy for your family and will often give answers too quickly.
You are impatient with poor performance and won’t let children relax if you have any. You are likely to send them in to depression.
You have little tolerance for mistakes, however, you don’t analyze details yourself, are bored by trivia and can often make rash decisions.
You can be rude and tactless and often manipulate people.
You are demanding of others and believe that the end justifies the means.
Work may become the driving force in your life and you demand loyalty in the ranks.
You tend to use people and dominate others.
You make decisions on other people’s behalf and you know everything.
You can do everything better, are too independent and are overly possessive of friends and mate.
You can’t say your sorry and, although you may often be right, you can become unpopular.

Whew! Aren't those some wonderful traits to be revealing of myself (and sharing with you)! Thankfully, that is my secondary!

Since reading this book has brought those ugly traits (and yes, I have seen every one of them at some point in my life) into the light and I am now more aware of them, as you know I've been working hard for some time to make adjustments in myself. You've read the list, some of those things are quite ugly and some I've corrected a long time ago, some just recently and some will need a lot of work. I don't want to be those things of course, and the only person who is capable of changing them is me. I better get to writing that list!!

Hopkins - July 4th 2011

2011-07-05T09:04:00.000-04:00

A friend of ours invited us out to Hopkins for their 4th of July parade. She knows how Jacob adores firetrucks, firefighters, and parades and seeing as her boyfriend is a Hopkins firefighter and he was driving a truck in the parade, she thought Jacob would like to come along. And mom and dad got to ride too!

We rode in Engine 10 (photo credit to Jeremy).

Enjoying the ride. (And momma got her first ride in a fire engine too!)

The line behind us.

Kyle - our driver. Thanks Kyle!

Our friend, Kim and her son Aiden - Thanks Kim!

Jacob had to go back to Kyle's truck and try on his helmet.

Hopkins Fire was giving rides in their old firetruck. Our friend Gary (who is also an Allegan firefighter) was driving (not in this picture) and we all tried to get Jacob to go but, he was too shy.

Thank you, Kim, Kyle, and Aiden for inviting us to join you in your parade! We had a lot of fun!

July 3 Jubilee 2011!

2011-07-03T20:12:00.001-04:00

Here in Allegan, we don't celebrate July 4 - we celebrate July 3! The downtown development folks put on a parade, have a few food vendors and various live bands play. We haven't yet managed to stay late enough for the fireworks but, we haven't missed a parade in 3 years.

This year was extra super special. This year, this year, my Jacob got to watch the whole parade from inside "the new pumper"!

Chief Bruce led the show and paused to tell me that the guys were in #16.

They weren't on my side on the way by but, I ran up the block to catch him on the other side.

And there's my boy (well, boys - Daddy rode too)!

We'll be back tomorrow - we're gonna do it again!

"It is what it is"

2011-06-27T09:59:00.006-04:00

I guess I'm a little superstitious. I believe in fate. I believe in destiny.   I believe things happen in threes. I believe in God, that he has a path set out for you. I believe there are signs for you to follow if you're willing to see them.

I was up home this past weekend for my 20 year (I'll leave the mathematics up to you) class reunion. Yes, I had a GREAT time.  Yes, I totally enjoyed myself. Jeremy had a good time too. I saw some friends that I hadn't seen in 20 years. I saw a couple of people I graduated with that now live almost in my back yard. I caught up with some old friends and made some new. Mostly, I took on a new attitude towards my future and my past.

I was talking to a former classmate, who is best friends with a guy that I had dated, and I always thought he hated me. We were ordering drinks, talking about this guy and he said something like, I'd forgotten all about that, you know what..."It is what it is", can't change it, can't undo it. We went on to finish our drinks, and out to breakfast. I had a really great time!

Jeremy and I went for coffee and our favorite little coffee shop in Manistee, Goody's Juice & Java. They have a White Chocolate Raspberry Mocha that I'd almost die for! Anyway, this woman was talking to another woman out front over coffee and blueberry muffins, I didn't hear any other part of their conversation but then she says as clear as a bell, "Well, you know Betty, It is what it is!" I smiled, gave Jeremy an elbow and kept on walking.

Yesterday, I turned on the TV when we finally got back home, I hadn't even turned the channel, simply turned on the thing and this woman says, "...It is what it is..."! I said "DAMMIT! THAT'S THREE!!" Someone is trying to tell me something!

I got the message. It is what it is. I can't always plan it.  It doesn't always go the way I want. It's not better or worse, it is what it is. I was so happy to see a girl that I didn't really hang around in high school. Turns out it was great to see her, I was looking forward to seeing her and I was happy to have seen her! It is what it is. I talked with a deputy sheriff about a boyfriend in high school and the terrible luck he's had dating/marrying since. I'm sorry for the guy but again, it is what it is. I had set up a time to meet some friends for lunch and a few couldn't make it. It doesn't mean they like me or they don't, it is what it is. People don't change. People do change. It is what it is.   I dated a guy for 6 years, a lot of things went wrong, both his fault and my fault (and I keep running into him at the damn casino!). It is what it is. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't and you know what? It is what it is.

Thoughts on 37...

2011-06-22T01:03:00.005-04:00

I'm sitting here tonight after all of the birthday wishes have come in, after the cake, the cards, and my gift, I totally was not expecting, another birthday come and gone, thinking over the past year - what has changed or stayed the same and what I hope for in the next year.

I've thought a lot tonight about love and relationships, about family and friends and those we love who love us. I think about the capacity of love, the love for family, the love for your partner, the love for your child and sometimes the conditions that come with love.

Why does love have to come with conditions or rules? I love my husband and my child unconditionally and whole-heartedly, yet why am I so scared to love others without being so afraid?

Speaking of afraid - I was given a wonderful gift for my birthday. Something I've wanted for a long time and couldn't justify purchasing for myself. It was the most expensive gift I've been given in quite some time. And I was so touched, to know someone cared about me, so much to 1 - give me something like that and 2 - to think of something I'd really like, want, and use. And 3 - they were willing to show me they thought of me and they love me. I cried. I cried when I opened the box. I cried when I told my husband what it was. I cried when I called to thank her. It was so amazing to receive that love! It wasn't the gift (though it's a great gift) - It was the love BEHIND the gift! Have you ever had someone give you something and just FELT the sentiment radiating from the gift? It was so real!

You see, I'm learning love shouldn't have rules. Love shouldn't be held back. Love shouldn't be withheld because someone doesn't meet expectations, because someone thinks you should love them like they want to be loved rather than accepting the love you have to give. Just because I don't love you the way you think I should doesn't mean I don't love you. Love should be given freely and never, never taken away. Love shouldn't come with strings or expectations. Jealousy or spite don't belong when you love.

I've worked hard while 37 to make a change in myself to open my heart, to open my mind, to be more forgiving, to open the door and let people who want to care about me into my life. And to sort the truth from the from the show. I'm learning to take things as they come, and what they're meant to be. I'm learning to relax and go with what comes my way. I want to continue working on it for 38.

Thank you, Jeremy. Thank you, Jacob. I love you both to the moon and back! Thank you, my family for the cards in the mail full of birthday wishes. Thank you, my Kindle giver - not just for the gift but, the love and the light behind the box. Thank you, my warm yellow sunshine and her Me-la for all you have taught me this past year. And my friends - Thank you to those who have always been here. I love and appreciate each and every one of you! To my new friends and my new old friends - I have come in (or back in) contact with many of you after our lives took so many twists & turns and there is a bigger reason for that than we may ever know. I'm looking forward to where our new path leads.

Here's to a happy 38th!

Happy Father's Day 2011

2011-06-16T12:44:00.008-04:00

I always struggle with Father's Day. It's usually piggybacked to my birthday and with it one small, precious moment I alone shared with my dad. Being the youngest of 6 kids, it was tough to find something in common, something only one could share with him. I always visited for Father's Day to share that moment. "Happy Father's Day!", I'd call out, and he in turn "Happy Birthday!"

I miss my Dad. I miss him every. Single. Day. What I miss the most, is he didn't meet Jacob...sometimes I can't help but think my dad had a hand in brining our Jacob. I can see him up there, giving God a little nudge, saying "Yep, send that little whipper-snapper to my youngest daughter, she needs a precocious little boy in her life!" I know he's smiling down from heaven at us and at Jacob, the little mini-Web (he looks amazingly like my dad) - the kid who shares so many loves with his Grandpa he never met. I know if my Dad were here, Jacob would be attached to his hip, watching the cars go by, the airplanes take off, and waving to the city police. And my Dad, he'd be so proud to share and to show him all of the things he showed me...

Child's Footprints Poem

"Walk a little slower Daddy" said a child so small,
"I'm following in your footsteps and I don't want to fall.
Sometimes your steps are very fast,
Sometimes they're hard to see;
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For you are leading me.

Someday when I'm all grown up,
You're what I want to be;
Then I will have a little child
Who'll want to follow me.

And I would want to lead just right,
And know that I was true,
So walk a little slower, Daddy,
For I must follow you."
(author unknown)

Happy Father's Day!

Finally! Inside Holland Fire Department

2011-06-10T09:21:00.004-04:00

On the corner of the office complex (putting it mildly - this place is the size of like 6 football fields) where I work, is a branch of the Holland City Fire Department. Every time Jacob comes to visit me or we drive by there he asks when we can visit. Jacob and daddy came to have lunch with me yesterday and on their way home they passed through Holland FD. The guys were coming back from a call and invited him in!

This is Heidi. Jacob told me on the phone "I met Heidi - she DRIVES the firetrucks!" And he also got a tour of the station. He's been very curious about where they sleep. Allegan's firefighters are all volunteer and though there are beds at our station, they're not used. Holland FD does (I seem to recall anyway) a 24 on/48 off rotation so they do use their bunks. They even have Holland FD maltese crosses on their blankets. How cool is that!?!

If this kid doesn't grow up to be a firefighter or a police officer...I'll be amazed.

Remembering Missy

2011-06-07T09:27:00.004-04:00

I lost a friend last week. It's always hard to lose a friend. It's harder yet to lose a friend to mental illness. It's even harder yet, when a friend chooses their own end. We are left feeling as if we missed something, missed all of the signs. Feeling as if we could have helped. Feeling the "if we had only known". Wondering if she knew how much we all cared for her. Knowing it wouldn't have made a difference. Feeling angry because she didn't reach out. Angry because we didn't reach in. The minister at Missy's funeral explained her illness quite well (and I'm kinda paraphrasing here). Missy didn't believe in any one religion, she believed in parts of all of them. Depression is a horrible darkness that blocks out God's light. As bright as Missy's light was, Missy couldn't fight the darkness any more.

I'm told Missy could sing. And by 'sing', I mean SING! I never had the privledge to hear her. Only little bits here and there when she was goofing but, her ex-boyfriend sang this song at Missy's funeral. He said it was a favorite of hers to sing, he said every time they brought out the guitars Missy asked to sing this, he said either she sang it for or with her mother and he was singing it that day for Missy's daughter. I emailed and asked Eric if he could share it with me because when I heard this song, I knew. I knew Missy was wrapped in Jesus' arms.

"Come To Jesus"
Mindy Smith

Oh, my baby, when you're older

Maybe then you'll understand

You have angels to dance around your shoulders

'Cause at times in life you need a helping hand

Oh, my baby, when you're prayin'

Leave your burden by my door

You have Jesus standing at your bedside

To keep you calm, keep you safe,

Away from harm

Worry not my daughters,

Worry not my sons

Child, when life don't seem worth livin'

Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

Oh, my baby, when you're cryin'

Never hide your face from me

'cause I have conquered hell and driven out the demons

I have come with a light to set you free

Worry not my daughters,

Worry not my sons

Child, when life don't seem worth livin'

Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

Oh, oh

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Oh, my baby, when you're dying

Believe the healing of His hand

Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival

Here in Heaven you will finally understand

Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival

Here in Heaven you will finally understand

Worry not my daughters,

Worry not my sons

Child, when life don't seem worth livin'

Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms

Rest in peace my friend. I will miss your beautiful smile and your infectious bubbly laugh. I will miss the broccoli for lunch. Every. Day. I will miss the way you seemed to float into a room. I will miss the way you magically appeared when I least expected to see you. I will miss your spirit and I will miss your light. Until we meet again...

Old Iron Bridge Motorcycle Show & Memorial Day 2011

2011-05-31T09:33:00.007-04:00

I didn't want to post these until Monday was over as I wanted to keep my "in honor of" post up. Memorial weekend is pretty busy for us here in Allegan. Saturday was the Old Iron Bridge Motorcyle Show. We've watched this little event grow up over the years and well, let's get to the real reason why we go...

We knew Allegan Fire District's ladder truck was going to make an appearance. We sat (stalked) where we knew they'd be setting up. Finally, our Fire Chief arrived and Jacob RAN to meet him.

Next thing we knew, Jacob was in Bruce's Fire Chief truck, seatbelted and they were leaving!

I looked at Jeremy and said "Well, I guess he can't be safer with anyone else!" They returned about 20 minutes later with this:

Jacob got out of Chief's truck and I asked where he went, he replied matter-of-factly, "To go get the ladder truck." As if to say, "DUH!"

**I forgot! The firefighter that drove the ladder truck to the motorcycle show was Gary. While talking to Gary, Jeremy mentioned to me that he didn't realize the picture from Jacob's "Conquer the Beast" patch that Kelsey destroyed (remember this post?) is painted on Allegan's ladder truck. We told Gary the story and Gary thought he might have a couple of those left. Later that Saturday, our doorbell rang, and there was Gary with a new "Conquer the Beast" patch for Jacob. Jacob was so excited! Not only did he have the patch, he'd brought it to the house AND gave Jacob lights and "whoops" when he pulled out of the driveway!

And Monday was our little parade. Leading was Allegan City Police #2. There are 5 and Jacob will tell you which ones are at the station and which ones are missing. ("2,3, and 5 are here. 1 & 4 are out"). Jacob tried so hard to get this officer (I don't know his name) to give him some "whoops" - and we had to re-explain that they had to be quiet in this parade.

And of course, Allegan Fire District was well represented. Bruce (the chief) was first in his white truck, followed by the ladder truck driven by our neighbor Robert (also the guy who prints J's fire shirts) followed by the new pumper ("I told you mom the pumper always follows the ladder truck!") driven by a kid we don't know with Ron the 2nd chief in the passenger seat. After that was the old pumper drive by the other Ron (we have 2 Rons, "Ron" and "Shaun's Dad - Ron". Or both of them together make "The Rons") and the rescue truck after that (I didn't know that guy either) with our friend George and his wife, Karen (they used to be our neighbors) in the tanker. Last was our friend 'Officer Dame' (he used to work with me) in Allegan City Police #4. And again Jacob tried to con him into some "whoops". A couple of the firefighters pointed inside the firetrucks saying "He should be in here!". I have a feeling that for the July 3 parade, he will be. And this proud mom, she'd better bring her tissues!

The Soldier - Memorial Day 2011

2011-05-27T10:26:00.007-04:00

The Soldier

It is the soldier, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer,
who has given us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.

It is the soldier,
who salutes the flag,
who serves under the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.

By Charles M. Province, copyright 1970, 2010

Thank you Soldiers:

Daniel Benson Nolff - who gave his life in service of our country on October 29, 1966

We also thank the members of our family who fought for freedom under our flag.

Claude E. Harper -- POW WWII

Henry "Butch" Nolff Sr. (July 4, 2003) -- Vietnam

Wilbur "Web" Elenbaas (Sept. 4, 1999)
Larry Hagen (Dec. 26, 2008) -- The Korean Conflict

John L. Coleman (July 24, 1994) -- WWII

Arthur A. Elenbaas (March 10, 2011) -- WWII

Clayton H. Elenbaas (April 6, 2001) -- WWII

Gordon F. Elenbaas (November 8, 1999) -- WWII

Richard Elenbaas (Sept. 4, 1970) -- WWI

And those who also served.

J. Alan Coleman, USMC

Don Harper, US Army

Bill Harper, US Air Force
**I'm sure there are more I may have missed and I apologize (send me a note and I'll add or fix it). Your service is none less important than anyone else, I simply was not certain of who served for what branch and/or where. I felt it best not to post any information rather than incorrect/incomplete information.

Allegan Spring Fair 2011

2011-05-24T10:22:00.000-04:00

It wasn't much - kind of a disappointment from our regular fair but, it was something to do as a family and we did have a pretty good time. Thankfully, we got it all in before the rain came!

Finally, a smile!

Inside the REAL caboose! It was even on tracks.

Our trip wouldn't be complete without a firestation now, would it!?!

The caboose and fire station are part of the pioneer village at the Allegan Fairgrounds. We've never visited during the fair as it's always night time and closed or we just have so many other things to see. This day - we had plenty of time. These buildings are original to Allegan and were donated/moved to the fairgrounds to create the village. With the caboose is a train depot, there is an 1800's home, a school, church, log cabin, school, gas station and I believe a blacksmith. It was a great experience and I think all 3 of us enjoyed it!

Preschool Graduation 2011!

2011-05-16T10:45:00.000-04:00

The Tiger cake.

The "Preschool Class of 2011/Graduating Class of 2024 lining up.

Waiting for his name to be called.

Finally!

"Grandpa Gordon and Grandma Smith". (I couldn't load the pic with Jeremy's parents - it won't rotate!)

At "Donald's". This is my new favorite picture. That's my 5YO Jacob!

And he finally got to eat that "Tiger Cake"!

Field Trip to Binder Park Zoo - 2011

2011-05-02T12:07:00.001-04:00

Friday we had Jacob's first class trip to Binder Park Zoo in Battle Creek. And Jacob with his two friends, the little guy in the hat is Riley (formerly known as "Fire kid" as his stepdad to be is on our Fire Dept.), and the little girl is Sara from day-care.

We saw Prairie Dogs

Rode on a Tram

Looked at "Dinosaur Bones"

Followed an Ostrich.

Looked at Monkeys

Cows with big horns

We saw goat butts

Lazy wolves

More Monkeys

Scrumping Llamas (thankfully we were spared any questions - but that boy llama - look at his teeth!)

Peacocks

And we rode on a train.

And the best part (my favorite)...the Snow Leopard!

Happy Easter 2011!

2011-04-28T10:20:00.002-04:00

I think this Easter was the best Easter so far! Jacob woke up, came to our bed and asked if the Rabbit had come. The poor kid endured absolute torture while Jeremy/Daddy ran downstairs to let Kelsey out and check for Easter Bunny poop. Finally, Jacob was set free to go find his loot.

"What's this?" he asked about the little pile of jelly beans on the floor by his Easter basket.

I explained to him that the Easter Bunny poops jelly beans. "And it looks like he left a trail. Let's follow it!"

Into the kitchen.

Outside the door.

On the back porch.

At the bottom of the stairs.

Along the driveway.

Towards the patio.

On the patio...

"Jacob. Look! There are eggs! All over the place!"

(Isn't that a great outfit!?! St. Louis shirt, sweatpants and fire boots - without socks!)

I'm not sure who enjoyed his first Easter egg hunt more, Jacob or Jeremy and I. Happy Easter! :)

The Cost of being Poor

2011-04-26T12:30:00.001-04:00

I had wanted to write about Easter and all the fun we had but, seeing as the memory stick with all of the pictures is sitting on my dining room table inside of my camera, I'm going to write about an article I saw some time ago.

The High Cost of Poverty: Why the Poor Pay More

I think about this article everytime I stop at our local grocery store and I thought about it again this weekend when we took a trip to our local laundromat to wash the comforter from our bed. It's a king size and even though I do have an extra large capacity washer, it isn't quite big enough. We saw a mom/dad/daughter family doing their laundry as well as a mom with 2 kids (5 and 2) and another on the way. I was trying to imagine the cost for them to do laundry.

$2 per single load washer.
$4 per double load washer.
$5.50 per triple load washer.
1 quarter per 7 minutes for the dryer - I typically run 50 to 70 minutes at home...yet their dryers run hotter.
75 cents for a single load of soap
another 75 cents for 2 dryer sheets - I pay $3.99 for 120 (3 cents per)

Now think about how much laundry you do in your home and how much that would cost you to have to take all of it to the laundromat!

I think of the ways I try to save money and those things I do, aren't even options for a lot of people. Imagine you didn't have a car to drive to a Big Box Store and you were forced to to pay the higher prices of a convenience store that most of us think of as simply that, convenience. Can you imagine what a bottle of laundry detergent costs at the corner gas station!?!

I live in one of the largest/poorest counties in Michigan - at least it was before the economy tanked. I thought about that as I was writing my previous post thinking - You're not poor, you're just trying to save some money. There are people who have it worse than you do! I used to look at some of those folks and think - if they'd get a job, if they'd make an extra effort, if they'd this and if they'd that. I thought I had all of the answers.

Trying to save some $$$

2011-04-18T13:17:00.000-04:00

I had typed out a lovely comment on a friend's blog this morning and when I hit the 'publish' button it said "your comment could not be published" and let me tell you, I was pissed!

So, I decided to compose something similar and just post it on mine instead.

What do I do to save some money?

I try to plan meals ahead of time - sometimes I'm better at this than others. I try to make things that will last more than one meal. Like tacos, or a casserole. A lot of the time it's just one of us at home and reheating something requires a lot less effort just for one person.

I now shop at Aldi for almost all of my foodstuffs. $1.49 for mayo, $2.69 for milk, $1.99 for boxed cereals, $4.49 for a 12 double roll pack of teepee, $4.99 for a can of coffee (have you noticed the name brands are at least $7.99+?). I can't touch Aldi prices in my regular grocery store - not with coupons, not with sales, not even with the store brand. I do have a few staples that I won't give up - Heinz ketchup (although I have found a store brand that is so dang close that I will use it), Tide with Bleach Alternative , Clorox bleach, Dawn dishsoap, and Era Laundry detergent - I only use this on Jeremy's work clothes. I have switched laundry detergent for my clothes and most of Jacob's as we really don't get our clothes dirty. I use what's cheap and smells good. And I do try to use coupons when I can.

Books are my obsession. I love books. I can't resist books. I need books. I thrive on books. I do checkout a lot of books from my library but, those put me on a time constraint and I don't like to be timed.   My little library does have a lot of great books but, they don't always have what I want (and for some reason I tend to save the books that they do have as my last resort) and at those times, I turn to the Michigan Electronic Library. I locate the book I'm looking for and they send it to my local library - free of charge! I also tend to pick up books at Goodwill. I have about 5 stores close to both home and work that I continually check. Now look at this...yesterday, I bought 4 books at Goodwill.

Karen White - The Color of Light   - retail = $5.18 plus shipping. I paid $1.99

Elin Hilderbrand - The Blue Bistro - retail = $6.00 plus shipping. I paid $1.49

Elin Hilderbrand - The Island - retail = $9.92  and I paid $2.99

Tom Perrotta - Little Children: A Novel - retail = $5.58 and I paid $2.99.

This little trip, I saved $14.03!   I keep a box in my basement for book that I've read and once I fill the box, we take it to our local library. They sort through the books and some they add to the library's collection - they will use it as a back up if that book is popular, they'll use it to replace one in their collection if it is worn or they'll sell it at their monthly book sale to raise funds for the library. I feel good to donate my books - I can give back without giving cash from my pocket.

While were talking about Goodwill, I do some shopping there and I'll try to post more photos of my finds in the future. One of the last times I was in, I bought a brand new pair of pink silk pajamas for myself for $5.99! I do buy quite a bit there at an excellent price. It's more difficult as Jacob gets older but, I do try. I get a lot of my clothing there as well. $2.99 - $3.99 for a name brand sweater - tell me you can't afford that!?! I've found things with the tags still on them (a Woolrich men's long sleeve shirt and the tag read $49 - I paid $2.99!), I've found so many name brand things. I buy all of Jeremy's work clothes there. He has to wear dress pants and long sleeve dress shirts to work. Can you tell me why I should pay upwards of $40 for a pair of Dockers that he could come home and throw in the trash because they got bleach on them? It's a bit easier to stomach those pants going into the trash when I only spent $2.99 on the pair.

I will pick up some name brand items if I see them just to sell them on a popular online auction site (I'm tired of linking) to make some extra cash. I also sell most of Jacob's clothes that he's outgrown as well as my own. It doesn't take too long and I've made some good $$ doing it. For instance, a pair of my dress pants that I bought on clearance for $9.99, I turned and sold for $14.99 and the buyer paid the shipping! I couldn't have made that at a yard sale! I also sold a pair of Jacob shoes last year for $33 (I paid $28 and he wore them once)! Some things aren't worth reselling and I do donate those back to Goodwill and when I do that, they give me a coupon for an additional 20% off my total bill on my next trip.

I buy my dog treats at the $1 store. They're just like the Milk Bone dog bones except the whole box is $1.

I use a lot of free samples. I have various websites that I belong to and they send updates of things I can try for free - so I do.

Now with the price of gas, I hope we'll start doing more walking. Instead of driving to the grocery store for the one little thing, I hope to walk. Same with the library and our little trips to the sheriff, police, and fire departments. Not to mention, all four of us can certainly use the exercise.

And lastly, I'll be going back to work full time once school starts. And I'm going to save the details for another post.

I'm willing to share any recipes that I use and I'd love to hear what you do to try to save some green.

CHICAGO! (Part 4) Chicago Fire Department

2011-04-11T13:35:00.005-04:00

You had to know this was coming. I mean really, did you think we could get out of Chicago, who's fire department has been in existance since 1837 without taking my fire truck obsessed little boy to a real Chicago Fire Station?

We checked with the concierge at our hotel for the nearest firestation and thought - yeah, we can walk that. So we hiked the 18 blocks on over to 444 Dearborn - the home of Chicago's Squad 1 and Chicago Fire Prevention Bureau. We turned the corner onto Dearborn and all of the big doors were closed. My first thought was "Oh Shit! We walked all this way for NOTHING!" But, my son and his eagle eyes spotted a firefighter and asked him if he could show us the trucks and we were in!

The chief even popped out and said "now that's a real team to root for" regarding Jeremy's St. Louis Cardinals hat.

My little boy had the run of the station. They let him check out anything he wanted and he did. He even met his first female firefighter, Ms. Nora. I think she was as tall as Jeremy!

Jacob in back of the CFD command center with our tour guide. They work a 24 on 48 off rotation and there are 28 firefighters stationed here.

And got to play basketball in their gym.

I think this was one of the best parts of our trip. These folks were so warm and welcoming. They treated us as if we were old friends rather than people off the street. They answered all of our questions and showed us anything we wanted to see. We were allowed to take all of the pictures we wanted and we left with a Squad 1 t-shirt, 2 fire hats, a coloring book, and a wristband. The perfect end to our trip.

Thank you, CFD Squad 1. Thank you for your hospitality, thank you for your time and thank you for your service,

CHICAGO! (Part 3) Shedd Aquarium

2011-04-11T13:07:00.001-04:00

Thursday morning we headed out to Shedd Aquarium. I was sooo nervous about this. I'd heard rumors of 3 hour waits, to buy your tickets in advance, and many more. See the white and blue tunnel? That's the line for those who did NOT buy tickets in advance! See the 2nd pic? Look how long that line is - that's what I was so afraid of! We did buy tickets in advance - our line started up by the columns and I think we waited 15 or so minutes in line. BUY TICKETS IN ADVANCE!!

Jacob was like this through most of the aquarium. I think we spent about 4 hours there. I highly recommend a visit. The whole place totally held Jacob's interest. There was so much to see and they even had sharks!

We didn't see any additional shows while at Shedd although while sitting having our lunch, we were next to the pool and got to see the underwater portion of the 2:00 PM Baluga Whale and Dolphin show.

And some sights on the way back to the hotel.

Do you think he's enjoying himself?

CHICAGO! (Part 2) A room with a view

2011-04-11T12:19:00.004-04:00

Our hotel - our hotel was fan-freaking-tastic!

We stayed at The Hilton Chicago and I wish I would have taken pictures in the lobby as this hotel was beautiful!

As first time guests, we were upgraded to a Lakefront room.

Some views from our window:

Navy Pier

We had to move our chair over in front of the window so Jacob could see out. The Metra tracks ran about a block from the hotel as well as all of the taxis, buses, and fire trucks on the street. The hotel is on Michigan and Lake Michigan Drive was 2 blocks over.

Wearing his new Chicago Fire Department shirt. He wanted the letters on the back.

Jacob made friends with our doorman - Rufus who helped us out quite a bit and recommended an awesome diner for breakfast. If you're ever in Chicago near 11th Street and Wabash, check out Eleven City Diner. I had the Eleven City French Toast - challah with fresh strawberries, bananas and toasted coconut - OMG!! It was sooo good - and I didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day! Thanks for the recommendation, Rufus!

CHICAGO! (Part 1) Children's Museum at Navy Pier

2011-04-11T12:03:00.002-04:00

We had a great time in Chicago. Jacob and I were 1st timers both to Chicago and to the train. I'm going to post this in a few installments because there's just so much to share. Enjoy!

Our train left Kalamazoo Station at 10:23 AM. We arrived plenty early. And Jacob waited impatiently for our train.

"It's coming!"

On board and having a snack. Our car on the way out was pretty empty. There were a few people sleeping. We had a few stops (Niles, Michigan City, and New Buffalo, MI and then we were straight through to Chicago).

After checking into our hotel - The Hilton Chicago (we'll talk more about that later). We headed out to the Children's Museum at Navy Pier. This momma did her research and knew they had a special exhibit in connection with the Chicago Fire Department.

This was really cool - the hose nozzles had like little laser pointers and if you got the red light onto the fire, the fire went out.

And check out this truck!

They also had these interactive shadow screens. Can you see the rain falling off Jacob's umbrella? They had another with butterflies that would 'land' on your hand.

Here you could make your own flying machine out of foam and crank it up the tower to see if it could fly.

The Rainforest.

CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) Bus.

And best of all - the water! They had all these little boats to float and you could control the water flow or levels with dams and locks. They had a whole wall of little raincoats in all colors and sizes.

We took a little walk around Navy Pier and as if the train ride to Chicago wasn't enough...Jacob had to ride "Thomas" too.

Jacob was impressed with all of the taxis in Chicago. He made friends with our first driver from Union Station to the hotel, Bernard. After Bernard, he would talk to each driver, trying to make friends. "Taxi Man?", he'd say. They weren't overly friendly.

Saturday, what a day!

2011-03-21T09:47:00.005-04:00

We had one heck of a busy Saturday! We went to "The Breakfast Stop".

Jacob ate 2 pancakes!

We walked 3 blocks to the Sheriff's Department.

Crossed the street to the Library.

Where Jacob checked out 6 books (2 on tigers, 1 about sharks that he picked himself!)

Around the courthouse.

Down another 3 blocks to walk through downtown.

And back home to finish a few jobs.

Those of you who know me, know that my house is generally really, really clean. I hate clutter. I'm terrified of becoming a packrat - of being over run by stuff.. I like everything neat and organized, a place for everything and everything in its place, but...once in awhile...it does get a little out of hand and every flat surface of my house becomes a dumping ground. Saturday, I had planned to go from this:

To this:

And from here:

To here:

As well as from this:

Back to this:
(as you can see, I also managed to pour a few bars of soap.)

I was able to accomplish so much as Jacob took a nap and Jeremy was outside making this:

Into this:
(our old one was a wedding gift and after 9 years, it wasn't going to make it another summer)

After his nap, Jacob did some of this:

And Kelsey, she...

Ate some of these:

And thankfully, we had Sunday to recover, in the rain, and the thunder, and the lightning - a PERFECT day for napping, watching movies, and just plain old loafing on the couch (and a baby shower)!

Off the grid?

2011-03-17T16:03:00.002-04:00

Do you ever just want to cancel everything and disconnect from all of the technology? Away from the pressure to update, speaking of updates - all the ones from Suzie LookatME on her latest expensive vacation where she bought a bazillion dollar car and ate caviar for her last 10 meals - which is the only time she ever updates, and you cringe every time her name pops up. Everyon has one of those along with the hand full of others pretending to be someone that they're really not - when you can't help but wonder. And not to be excluded. the so-and-so sent you an hug today, this one bought a cow and that one's horoscope, it's National Father, Son, Daughter, Christian, Disease and WHATEVER else week, and this laundry detergent that you like can save your soul. (I know I can make those go away) I just want to say "ENOUGH!"

I'm really fighting this urge to just turn it all off.

Some days, all of it serves me a reminder that I'm really all alone here. I'm the wife of a restaurant manager and he is never home. I tried a soap business that hasn't generated a single reorder (it's okay - it'll be what it'll be - I'm not trying for pressure sales). I have a few friends left from back home that never call or plan or have never even been to my house in the past 10 years that I've lived here! At this point, are they really friends anymore?

Make new friends, you say?

It's difficult to find people with common interests. But, the biggest kicker is KIDS! It's strange how much your kids or having kids changes the process of making friends. People with kids older than yours don't quite remember what it's like at this age/stage. People with a lot of family around don't know how difficult it is to find a sitter that you CAN trust. People with kids younger than yours have schedules to keep and diapers to change and more crap to haul - and you're the one who forgets what that stage is like. It's hard to go somewhere together with a bunch of car seats. There are bedtimes, and feeding times, and find a potty times. UGH! It's so hard!

And the method in which you choose to raise your kids is a topic all in its own and I'm not going to touch it with a ten word sentence!

Single friends don't understand that you have a husband or need a sitter or don't have a sitter so you either have to bring your kid or take him/her along. Married friends with empty nests forget that you do need or like to see your kids before they go to bed or that you do actually enjoy your husband's company. Yet none of them understand the 'my husband is home for the first or only evening this week and I'd really just like to have a conversation or sit and watch a TV program in his company because I won't see him again for the next 3 days! I'm sorry I have to miss your candle/housewares/food/cooking/wine that-I-can't-even-drink-party. But, I'd really like to see my husband for once.

And then one day, the phone stops ringing, there's no more email, no comments, not even any 'likes' and you realize that all of these things got in the way for so long that you're now alone (and you can't even say anything interesting either!).

Yet - there are the benefits too. A friend who found you after 20 years and you're so excited to have him/her back that brings you to tears. The news that my uncle had passed away and now that his wife is in the hospital having surgery after she took spill. The updates from cousins that I've never met. A post that my niece passed her college course. Without this technology, I would miss these great things.

Jeremy is home the next 9 nights - meaning he doesn't close and he'll be home before 10PM on all but 3 of those nights. :)

So, I'll do what I always do. I'll take my tissue and wipe my tears and wait for tonight when I pick up the handsomest 5 year old boy I've ever met to tell me, "Mommy? I missed you today!" And none of this other crap will matter.

Remembering Uncle Art

2011-03-10T10:26:00.001-05:00

Another of my father's brothers passed away this morning. My Uncle Art, #3 of the 9. He was 87 and had a tumor in his brain. He decided that he didn't want to treat it, that he'd had a good life and he'd go when the Lord came to call him home. I hope when it's my time, I am able to say the same. I do believe that death is a little easier to take when we know the decedent had lived a good life, had family to love, to love them.

Uncle Art was a great man, who most always wore a smile and carried a laugh everywhere he went. He kept all of the family stats, was the leader of the 'Up North Clan' and the eldest living brother.

As my sister said, "there was a great group of guys waiting for him to join them". I'm sure they already had dealt him in on the next hand...the fifth brother to join the game.

I took the news a little harder than I thought I would. It seems as I'm getting older my emotions are closer to the surface (I'm crying at TV shows, commercials, etc.). Yet, I tend to take things attached to my dad a little more to heart, and Uncle Art's passing is another broken link to my dad. I guess it's kind of a realization that one day, everyone who knew my dad will be gone, and their memories of him will be gone with them. It just stings a little.

My thoughts today are with my Auntie Mae, my cousins, and their families as they make the arrangements to celebrate Uncle Art's life. They are certainly in my prayers.

Rest peacefully, Uncle Art for you loved and were loved by many.

Chick Days

2011-03-03T09:07:00.003-05:00

Chick Days are back at our Family Farm and Home store. Jacob loved visiting last year so when I saw "Chick Days" on the sign, I planned to take him in again to see those fluffy chicks.

And they had a bunny (complete with a "caution I may bite" sign).

(I forgot to mention that last year, Jacob couldn't see into the little pens - we had to pick him up!)

I couldn't resist! They're so cute and fluffy. And Jacob was too scared to pet it.

And this is Jacob's photography debut! I let him use my Nikon (can you believe it!?!). Not bad, not bad!

Excuse me? What just happened?

2011-02-28T11:26:00.004-05:00

Warning: I'm going to get a little non-conventional here.  I'm going to talk about something you may not believe in, may not understand or might find totally weird and way beyond your level of acceptance. You are free to read on or to pass. No hard feelings.

Before I met my husband, I had dated another man for about 6 years on and off (more off than on). There was a considerable age difference (21 years) and before you get all 'father figure' on me, that totally wasn't the case. He was a good man. He took care of me - again not in the fatherly sense but, and I wish I could explain this better, there is a certain air, a certain something about dating someone older. There is a certainty in a man that is older, a confidence like no other.

This man saw me through a lot of things in that time. My family didn't understand but, also in this time, I had been taken advantage by another man - against my will (we'll talk about that another time). This relationship should have ended much sooner but, I needed him there to help me through that awful time. I didn't tell anyone. I needed to know that I was still something special to someone.   I couldn't get myself together and I saw that this man didn't want a future with me in the same way that I wanted a future with him. He wanted to stay together, live together and just enjoy life together. I knew that I wanted to get married and eventually have a family. He already had 2 divorces and 1 kid. I worked hard to get myself together and get on with my life. I started a new job, I moved away. I became more confident and I grew up.

In the last year of the relationship everything was sour. To put the two of us into a room together was like putting us into a boxing ring. Each of us taking our shots below the belt. I always told him that one day, I was going to be strong enough and I was going to leave. I was getting very close.

I left him on May 6, 2001. I just left and I didn't go back. I met Jeremy on May 10 and when I got home from meeting Jeremy, I had a letter in the mail from the other guy that it was over - I already knew that it was.   I scoffed and threw the letter in the trash, thinking "Finally, he gets it! I'm free!". The end of that relationship wasn't Jeremy. I knew that I needed to close this guy's door before Jeremy's could be opened. The old relationship had really been over for more than a year at that point only neither of us wanted to admit it. My first official date with Jeremy was May 12.

I was never happy with the way that I left my ex. I always felt that I needed some type of closure, that I needed to apologize for my actions over the years, that I need to put this mess to rest. It really bothered me. I thought about it often, I talked with Jeremy about it. I knew that I was happy with my life now, I knew I was meant to be with Jeremy yet, this nagged at me constantly and consistantly. I knew that I had more to say but, I also know that I was incapable of having a spoken conversation with my ex about this.

I was up home for an overnight this past November, and I ran into my ex. I hadn't seen him since I walked away in May of 2001 - almost 10 years. He looked good - he looked exactly the same! I knew the whole time Jeremy and I were planning that trip that I was going to run into this guy somewhere/somehow that weekend. And I knew it was unavoidable.  The whole interaction was creepy - he kept staring at me.

I knew this guy had been watching my every move that night. I saw a guy from work at the bar before I left. He was behind my friend and I. Standing at the wall. I'd gotten up to talk to him a minute. I saw my ex just glaring from the bar - I knew what he was thinking. I knew every single one of his accusations without having to hear them. And I knew he was thinking that nothing had changed with me. What I had said to the guy from work was "Hey! I was wondering if you'd be here. I know you like to bring your mom when you're in town. (Yeah, She and my Aunt are losing their social security). This band is good (yeah, I should have come in earlier). Too bad this bar is so small (it's always like this - they didn't plan it very well). We're getting ready to leave if you'd like our table (Great! Thanks! But, I have to use the can - can you wait a few minutes?). Sure, we'll wait until you use the restroom so you don't lose it" Now, doesn't that conversation just scream "Let's go get a room!?!"

Finally, as I was leaving (and I had to walk past him and his wife to get out of the bar), I stopped in front of him and I said, "If you're going to stare at me all night, the least you can do is say 'hello'." He was there with his wife (#3). Really, that didn't phase me. I wasn't upset that he chose her. I knew that I had Jeremy and Jacob waiting for me back at my hotel and it didn't matter. I didn't even have to convince myself. We exchanged um, pleasantries - at least on my part (him? not so pleasant). And I walked away again.

I went back to the hotel and spilled my guts to my husband. You see, I can't hide ANYTHING from Jeremy - I'm not capable. This run in/encounter with my ex made me even more uncomfortable. And I could NOT shake it.

I'd been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love and I can't remember if it was during this trip but, I know it was after. We were back at home, Jeremy was in the shower, and I was in bed reading and I was at the part where Liz gets locked up on the roof by Richard and she's forced to forgive or forget her ex-husband. As I'm reading, I keep getting this cologne scent - it's not Jeremy's - and it keeps getting stronger, and stronger, and finally, I realize that it's HIS - it's my ex's cologne! I did like Liz - I closed my eyes and I said "Look guy, I know that I did some terrible things to you, I know that I hurt you beyond hurt. I know now that I was wrong and I'm terribly sorry - for everything. I have forgiven myself and I forgive you for your part in all of this destruction. I hope you can move past this as well and I truly wish you the best in life."   And he left just as quickly as he'd come. I meant everything that I said.

Jeremy got out of the shower and I'm all "YOU are never gonna believe this!" But, he did - at least I think he did, he acted like he did.

Since that night - I've barely had a thought about that guy. Any time that I have thought of him, it passes right through. Like my mind says to me, "we're over this, remember?" and I move on to the next.

I don't know what I experienced. I don't know what it's called. Mediumship comes to mind but, that's contact with spirits of the dead. He's still very much alive. Well - according to Wikipedia - it's telepathy. It's weird but, call it what you want, think I'm psychic/psychotic. I just know that even if I don't know what it's called I've finally forgiven myself and he knows that I'm over it. It truly is a good place to be.

Do you believe...

2011-02-18T13:25:00.002-05:00

in magic...in a young girl's heart? Oops, sorry...that's not what I wanted.

Coincidence? Do you believe in coincidence?

Do you believe that we just walk through life and random things happen to us or don't happen to us totally by accident?

Or do you believe that everything happens to us for a reason, for a learning experience, to bring us the support we need at the time we need it, to show us just who really is in control of our lives?

I'm not getting into a discussion here over God, Buddha, Allah, Spirit, Kismet, or anything in between - I believe in a combination of God and Spirit or God in the Spiritual sense. I was raised in a German Lutheran home - of course, I believe in God. Anyway, not my point.

I believe that my life was totally changed by one broken pop bottle.

In this past well, wow - it's been almost a year already, since my we'll call it a "coincidence" changed my life path. I look back at the sad, lost, miserable, hurt person that I was then. When I go back, in my mind to the day of my "coincidence", I can actually see the black cloud looming over my head.

My sister was here for a day or so, on a pass through, heading home. We took some time to go check out downtown, parked and walked over to check out a little specialty foods store. I didn't pay any attention to where we had parked. I was excited to find that this store carried gourmet cherry cola - well, 1 - Cherry is my A#1, most favorite ever, and B - the girl said it's really close to a cherry cola that I tried up north a few years ago. With that, I was sold. I bought a bottle and a couple different flavors of hummus.

We were walking back to my truck, talking, not paying much attention, I switched hands with my purchase, dropped it and my coveted bottle of cherry cola broke! Thankfully, it was all contained within the bag but, oh man! My sister took my other purchases while I cleaned up the mess and I was to meet her at the truck but, when I got back, she wasn't there.

I looked up and I knew right where she went. I looked up and I see the store I had parked in front of Reflexions Plus. I knew. I knew that's where she went. I opened the door and I saw my sister but, I also saw this woman with short, crazy blond hair. I saw her and I had this overwhelming sense of I need to spend time with this woman, I need to know her, to work with her, I need her in my life - I don't know why - I just do!

I told myself that I was going to attend the Community Reiki night they offer and I did. And I haven't looked back. I've taken a few classes in the shop. It's now one of the places I'm selling my soaps. It's a place I love to visit and all of the people I have met there are simply fantastic!

My life, my thoughts, my dreams, my goals all took on a totally new direction since that day. I mean - I certainly never thought I'd be making soap as a side job! I never thought I'd drop a day from my full-time job. Do I believe this change in my life was simply a coincidence? I certainly don't. Do I believe that our lives are predestined, that our paths have already been created? Yes, I do. Do I believe that the path can change based on the choices that we make or don't make, yes I do.

I, I believe that my life was totally changed by one broken pop bottle. It wasn't a coincidence. I was supposed to drop that bag. I was supposed to meet that crazy haired lady. I was supposed to find new energy and new passions for my self. It was already in my path.

To do list

2011-02-15T12:11:00.013-05:00

Before Jacob and I were struck with The Plague last weekend, the three of us sat down and actually made a list of things we want to do or see this summer. Mostly little day trips here and there but, all things we have an interest in checking out!

~~Chicago - this is already planned for Jacob's spring break. Down and back on~~ ~~Amtrack. We're staying close to~~ ~~Union Station - Chicago. We have planned a walking trip to a Chicago Firehouse as well.~~
**UPDATE - I have been selected for Jury duty April 1-15. I sent in my paperwork to hopefully have it changed to the next time slot. Done. See here, here, here, and here.

~~Camping (hopefully on Lake Michigan) but at least in our backyard.~~ Done! Saturday night July 8, 2011

~~Gilmore Car Museum~~ done see here

Grand Rapids Children's Museum

~~Jacob's Gotcha Day~~ Done! We celebrated with dinner at Daddy's work and cupcakes.

~~West Michigan Fly-in~~ ~~- Typically the last full weekend in June.~~ He did this with Grandma & Grandpa S while we were at my reunion.
**UPDATE - This would be the weekend of my 20 year class reunion! Yes, I said 20!

~~Wolf Lake Fish Hatchery~~ done - see here

Swimming in Lake Michigan - the day we'd planned it was 104...since then, it's toooo cooold!

~~Binder Park Zoo~~ See here

~~Gail's 20 year class reunion.~~

Either my dad's or my mom's family reunion (only 1 of my mother's 4 sisters have met Jacob!) - We attended my dad's on August 13. I forgot my camera!

Gerald R. Ford Museum

~~A trip to the movies to see~~ ~~Cars 2~~ ~~(releases June 24, 2011)~~ Done! Saturday July 8, 2011

Allegan Antique Market

West Michigan Whitecaps Game - Hopefully we can make a Quad City River Bandits (St. Louis Cardinals Minor League team) - May 31, June 1, or June 2

Jeremy's 40th Birthday - Party set for August 27, 2011

Moo-Ville Quality Creamery

~~Allegan's July 3 Jubilee~~ see here

Of course, this makes for some interesting blog fodder for the spring/summer and of course some great pictures of my cute kid and his smiling face! We're really looking forward to tackling this list and if you're interested in joining us on our excursions, please send me a note and we'll try to work it out.

Sparkles and Twinkles

2011-02-07T11:19:00.005-05:00

There's nothing special about today. No milestones. Nothing important. Just a regular old day except I miss my dad!

I look at my brother and my sisters sometimes and I wonder how things are distributed. I don't mean monetary things or tangible things, I mean - take for instance - I'm the emotional one. I'm the one who cries easily, not just because I'm sad, also because I'm happy. I cry in church because of the strong memories of my dad, I cry when Pastor gives Jacob a blessing, I had said before that I can't sing the "Happy Birthday" song to Jacob without crying - it turns out I can't sing it at all, to anyone! I typically feel things very deeply and I wonder who I inherited that from?

I was talking to my brother this morning about my dad. I may have said this before, my dad had this amazing twinkle in his eye. Every time he smiled, it was there. You could see it - it came out just like the cheesy "ting" in a movie. My brother reminded me this morning about my dad's quick wit, his dry sense of humor, and how that sparkle would show up just before the zinger he was about to deliver. It's like his eyes knew that the smile was coming and they couldn't wait for it any longer. Sadly, none of us inherited his twinkle.

I think of my dad often when I'm with Jacob. Sometimes, I wonder if Jacob inherited my dad's spirit - I don't know if I believe in reincarnation but, I certainly believe that my dear old dad had a hand in bringing Jacob to us. Jacob is so much like my dad used to be. My dad would sit on our front porch for hours and watch the cars go by. He'd wave to folks that he knew. He loved to go to the airport and watch the planes take off or land. My Jacob's first word was car. He said it while sitting on my lap watching the cars pass by. This summer, we'll spend many evenings at the airport watching the new pilots practice take-offs and landings - as well as our skydivers go up and jump. I can't tell you how many people have approached us saying Jacob has waved to them or said 'hello' to them on the street. In fact, we had told my sister when she was here not to worry about getting lost, everyone in town knows where Jacob belongs. Many people in Manistee knew my dad and would stop to talk with him when he was on the porch.

I'm sure no matter how old I get, I'll always miss my dad. I'll always have those little moments, little memories, when I think to myself, "I wish my dad was here." In my heart, I know that he is always here. I know he sees all of the things I wish for. And then I'll see his smiling face...that twinkle in his eye, and the tears will fall again.

Whatta Wednesday Cont.

2011-01-27T09:12:00.005-05:00

In addition to all of the excitement yesterday, Jacob also had his Pyogenic Granuloma removed. If you consider Jeremy and I holding Jacob down while he screamed like no other, going well, then it went well.

Also, Grand Rapids Fire Department was doing training down the street from the Dr. office. And Kentwood Fire Department was checking hydrants - every time they'd stop to check one, they would turn on all the lights on the Fire Engine, and we were just down the street from one of the biggest hospitals in the area and saw about a dozen ambulances. We also saw four Michigan State Police cars! Yet it wasn't quite enough to distract Jacob from the task at hand.

Before:

(the surrounding area is red as we also found that Jacob has a slight allergy to bandage adhesive)

After:

They gave 2 shots to numb the area, snipped off the "bubble" (as Jacob calls it), and cauterized it (that is tops on my list of favorite smells!). Jacob asked why they put his bubble in the baby bottle. And he now refers to this area as "my hole". Though the "ban-bain" is off, he won't allow us to touch it. We can only look - after we PROMISE not to touch.

It's healing uncovered for now. We haven't had any issues with spotting and Jacob hasn't complained about any pain. I think he has had a few moments of discomfort - many of uncertainty with it but, he's doing just fine!

Whatta Wednesday!

2011-01-26T17:23:00.005-05:00

Our day began with this:

It's an old Allegan Fire Dept. patch I had purchased for Jacob from a popular on-line auction site.

And this...

is the portrait of the villain who destroyed it and brought Jacob to tears.

As the mom, it's my job to fix it!

Jeremy and I took Jacob to preschool this morning, we went out for our breakfast, and went to our local (every city has such a store, right?) firefighter, police, paramedic, supply store to see if they had a patch to replace our chewed one. The guy (who is one of Allegan's fire fighters and lives around the corner and down the street) has a wall full of patches from various departments he's done work for but, he didn't have an extra of this patch. SHIT! He says it's been replaced by a newer patch that we can only get from the fire chief. Okay. Next stop.

We're at the fire station talking to Chief and I tell him my problem with our dragon patch but...he can't help me, he doesn't have one. Instead, he opens his drawer and pulls out one of these:

A REAL Allegan Fire District patch! It's the same one he wears on his shirt.

Then we're talking a little more and he opens his drawer again.

And gives me this:

Now this patch, is an even more RARE patch than the one I was looking for as Allegan Township Fire no longer exists. The city fire and township fire merged to create the Allegan Fire District.

Chief, Jeremy, and I were talking about how to help Jacob understand though he loves to see the firetrucks, the ambulances, and the firefighters - how it makes his day - someone else's day has been ruined. You know, a little compassion. As we were talking to Chief and his 2nd Chief (who came in to join us), their pagers went off, they looked at each other, said "That's us!" and they both ran out the door. We heard something over their radios about a structure fire and we just plain got out of the way!

And then decided to follow the trucks. I didn't have my camera but, yeah...it was a fire alright! We could see the smoke from down the road and the bright orange flames coming out of the roof.

When we picked Jacob up from school, we took a drive out to the fire so Jacob could see. He was telling us he'd heard the sirens at school. "A lot of sirens!"

We're, of course, praying for the family who lost their home this morning.

And our dedicated firefighters who worked hard to put the fire out.

A Fireman's Prayer...

When I am called to duty, God

Wherever Flames may rage,

Give me strength to save some life

Whatever Be its age.

Help me embrace a little child

Before it is too late,

Or save an older person from

The horror of that fate.

Enable me to be alert and

Hear the weakest shout,

And quickly and efficiently

To put the fire out.

I want to fill my calling

And give the best in me,

To guard my every neighbor

And protect their property.

And if according to your will

I should lose my life,

Please bless with your protecting hand

My children and my wife.

-Author Unknown

Just do it!

2011-01-24T10:46:00.003-05:00

Why am I so hesitant? What am I waiting for? Why am I stalling? Am I afraid to take the chance? Am I scared to fail? Am I just depressed because it's cold and dark and snowy all. The. TIME?

I did a few shows this fall with my soaps. I did well. I did well at Christmas. I've had a few offers to sell on consignment and I want to take up those offers which is where all of the questions bombard me.

#1 - $30/month for the space. Six months to be paid in advance = $180. I'd have to sell 60 bars to make up for that, plus sell 10 bars a month to keep up. I'm not willing to risk that yet. Nope.

#2 - "Call me, we'll work something out". So? What's the problem?

#3 - "You can sell here if you'd like." Okay, and now I need to revamp my line a little to do that. Not that I'm being asked to but, because I have so much respect for this place and the people that I want to give them only the best. Essential Oils, natural products, and made when I'm at my best. I don't feel like I'm at my best.

I am a little discouraged. I was hoping for at least some new contacts - maybe some re-orders by now. My nephew said - "Aunt Gail - not everyone showers 3 times a day every day like you do - we normal people don't go through soap THAT fast!" He's right - and I'm trying to remember that and my soap lasts about twice as long as a store bought soap, plus most people bought 3/4 bars to give as gifts - and that might take some extra time to get through. Though if you know how impatient I am...you know how hard this is for me! To wait - to just wait...

That said.

I'm just gonna do it! I am! Plain and simple. I'm going to move forward and do it!

I'm going to make Tangerine soap with Essential Oil and Lavender soap too. I'm gonna take those to #3 and sell 'em!

I'm going to call #2 and work out an agreement and get an assortment of soaps in her store too!
I'm even going to approach another store and see what I can do there!

I'm going to make my lip balm as planned. And see what my testers think of it.

I'm going to get cracking on these Valentine's Day soaps. They're conversation hearts - but soap!

I'm going to post more pictures and get my website on the move!

I just going to do it!

Strange little foodies

2011-01-18T16:44:00.001-05:00

**Most of the strange behaviors you are about to read are only done in the privacy of my own home. I do not subject the general public to my freakish eating habits.**

Yesterday morning, I wanted French toast for breakfast. By wanted, I mean WANTED! But, you see we were out of sliced cheese and well, that means no French toast for me. Cheese, you ask? Yes, Cheese, I say! I make French toast as most people do - eggs, vanilla, water or milk, and a pinch of sugar, dip the bread and put it in the pan. Not so weird, right? Hold that thought...as I do the final flip, I put in a slice of cheese between two French toasts (like a grilled cheese), once the cheese has melted and the sandwich is on my plate, I spread on some peanut butter (only the creamy will do!) then cover with syrup. YUM!

As I was thinking about French toast - some other strange things came to mind.

Bologna Sandwiches - must include bread & butter pickles - not on the side, on the sandwich - between the bread!

Pancakes come with sausage - links not patties. I prefer to roll the sausage inside the pancake and dip into the syrup.

Turkey Sandwich with coleslaw in/on it. Not on the side!

Beer - with ice! Makes it really COLD and if you drink it fast enough, it doesn't get watered down.

Lipton Noodles & Sauce - Chicken with a can of corn mixed in. One of my faves when Jeremy is working at night. I used to eat it often when I lived by myself. It was cheap and made 2 meals! I've also made Beef Noodles & Sauce with peas but it's not as good.

I only eat greenish bananas. I will eat yellow ones but they must. not. have. spots. No spotty bananas!

I also love Velveeta Shells and Cheese with hot dogs and frozen peas mixed in.

Peas are my favorite veggie, next is broccoli.

My latest fave is a Red Delicious apple, quartered with slices of Colby Jack Cheese. I eat a bite of apple and a bite of cheese, chewing them together. I LOVE the sweet of the apple with the savory of the cheese!

Please feel free to share your weirdness. I like to know that I'm not alone. :)

Showing Some Christmas

2011-01-11T07:03:00.002-05:00

I can't show you our decorations or any special ornaments we have as the Christmas tree is down and back into the bag. Everything is waiting to be hauled back to the attic for another year of rest. I didn't do as much this year. I didn't put up my nativity scene, we didn't bake cookies, or doggie biscuits, I didn't put up any breakable ornaments afraid of what Kelsey would do to the tree and she did give us a few scares. I had to throw my brand new tree skirt in the trash - It seemed that nothing was going right so we just left it simple. But, I can show you a little something!

We usually start out the Christmas season with Jacob's biological grandparents.

Jeremy and I open gifts and have our big meal on Christmas Eve the way my family always did. I like to go to church but, in the last few years that hasn't happened. I prefer the midnight service but, I'm not willing to subject myself to the torture of keeping a 5YO up until midnight! (The mortar and bucket are for a retiling project in front of my fireplace - we're replacing the broken terracotta tiles with slate).

And this was my Christmas. I caught one heck of a bug and spent most of my time here. Oh - this is our new furniture in the den, by the way. We gained 6 seats by getting rid of 2 pieces! Can you tell that it's comfortable? And that Kelsey has claimed it? I will never have another couch with reclining ends!

And our cookies, chocolate milk and carrots for the reindeer. The runner was my Christmas gift from Jacob's Grandma (and I just noticed that the date on my camera is off by a few days). The dishes I bought many moons ago because they were so stinking cute! They store in a little hat box, that says "Cookies for Santa", and it's tied with a red ribbon!

And in the true spirit of the season, Jacob and I came home on Christmas Eve day to a package on our front door (some of you may remember from Facebook - I'm still offering that reward). It was a cloth bag with mini M&Ms, a cookie ornament, and a little fire truck (miraculous in that it was one that we don't have) in it. No card, no note - no nothing. But it was on our front door so we know it was someone who hasn't been to our house before. We suspect a certain fire chief...

Christmas Day - Santa comes on Christmas morning. And we also do our stockings on Christmas morning. Typically we have munchies - the last 2 years we've gone to Jeremy's parents to have our Christmas with them. This year - everyone was there! All of the grandkids even! It was really great - and I felt like crap!

Left is Jeremy's eldest sister, Anita, then Jeremy (he's the baby, like me) and to his right is his sister, Liz, she's the middle child.

And all the kids - back left is Sloane, Alanna, and Bobby, they're Anita's kids. And in the front (from left) are Natalie, Zoe (in the bride dress up outfit), and Alex - they're Liz's kids and on the end is my Jacob.

I hope all of you had a truly wonderful Christmas season, I hope Santa made all of your wishes come true. ;)